Re: The Complaints Thread >:(

[Knifey Keith]

Contains dirty naughty language:

Spoiler:

[Silvan Arrow]

I complain that it's very difficult to do scuba diving fieldwork when the boats are broken. Impossible, really. I was supposed to be on a research cruise Tuesday through Thursday of this week, but the boat needs a new hydraulic pump, and it was supposed to be here on Monday. That obviously didn't happen, so we're scrambling to figure out ways to still get the data collected on different boats. Hopefully the little boat will actually start this time so we can go out tomorrow...

Oh, and I just found out yesterday that I'm getting booted from my current office because my boss just hired a third permanent guy in our program. Losing the desk isn't a big deal, but the recent hiring does mean that I pretty much have no chance of him keeping me on full-time when I graduate because he won't have the money to hire anymore personnel. It looks like I'll be moving to another state when I graduate, and ironically, my home state of TN looks like the best option in terms of jobs right now. It's not marine biology, but it's fisheries, and the pay is pretty good.

Geez, getting ready for the real world is scary. How do you people do it?! I've been a student my whole life! Jobs? What are these jobs of which you speak?

[Gadreille]

A similar thing happened to me at the center for archaeological research when I became pregnant. They hired a bunch of fresh students and I sort of got pushed out of the department. Looking back, the economy tanked and CAR fell apart, so they sort of blessed me with foresight, and I was already prepared for the worst. Perhaps the same will happen for you, and everything you need will be at Tennessee!

In terms of real world, it's much like surfing. Watch for the swell, catch the wave, and ride it til it runs out; then find a better set. No matter how big the waves or what tricks you know, there are really only two rules: keep your head above water so you don't drown, and don't give up!

[Kathryn Lacey]

Keith, I definitely understand how you feel. I have a lot of people call me "Kath" or "Lacey" online, and a lot of people in real life who try to call me "Kate" or "Kathy" even though it's "Kathryn" or nothing as far as I'm concerned. I can deal with being called "Lacey" online even though being called by my middle name is weird, but I just can't deal with "Kath," "Kate," or "Kathy."

It also baffles me when people online continuously misspell my name, too. I mean... It's RIGHT there, all the time. How can a person think it's spelled with a "c" or add extra letters and/or syllables? It's weird...

Anyway, I think I once made the mistake of calling you "Knifey," but after your initial correction, I hope I never made that mistake again. I just call you "Keith," now.


Silvan, I'm sorry real life is kicking you in the rump. That really has to suck. I'm sorry that instead of doing marine work, you may do fisheries instead, but I hope that if you do end up with the latter, that you'll find you enjoy it a lot!


Gadreille, good advice! I love similes!

[Silvan Arrow]

Thanks for the encouragement, Gadreille and Kathryn. Just to clarify, I'm currently doing fisheries work now, just in a marine setting. If I have to move inland, I would still be in the same field, just in freshwater systems instead of marine. What I really want is to bust into the aquarium scene as a diver or field researcher. That way, I can still get some exposure to marine life no matter where I am.

Also, the simile was so appropriate, considering it was about waves and I'm a marine biologist.

Keith, if I ever made the mistake of calling you Knifey, I'm sorry and I definitely won't do it again.

[Knifey Keith]

Keith, I definitely understand how you feel. I have a lot of people call me "Kath" or "Lacey" online, and a lot of people in real life who try to call me "Kate" or "Kathy" even though it's "Kathryn" or nothing as far as I'm concerned. I can deal with being called "Lacey" online even though being called by my middle name is weird, but I just can't deal with "Kath," "Kate," or "Kathy."

It also baffles me when people online continuously misspell my name, too. I mean... It's RIGHT there, all the time. How can a person think it's spelled with a "c" or add extra letters and/or syllables? It's weird...

Anyway, I think I once made the mistake of calling you "Knifey," but after your initial correction, I hope I never made that mistake again. I just call you "Keith," now.


Silvan, I'm sorry real life is kicking you in the rump. That really has to suck. I'm sorry that instead of doing marine work, you may do fisheries instead, but I hope that if you do end up with the latter, that you'll find you enjoy it a lot!


Gadreille, good advice! I love similes!

Personally I think Kathryn is a lovely name, the spelling in particular I find far more stylish than Catherine.

[Kalon Ordona II]

I think I've been guilty of the Knifey. Personally I think it's kind of catchy.
"Knifey." My mental image is this: the middle pane


However, if you prefer Keith or the full Knifey Keith, I definitely respect that.

Keith. =

[Kathryn Lacey]

Personally I think Kathryn is a lovely name, the spelling in particular I find far more stylish than Catherine.

Thanks, Keith! I like the spelling of my name, too, and I'm glad it's what my mother chose.


Kalon, what comic is that? The artwork looks really familiar.

[Guest]

Personally, unless you have only one username and it's short, I think it's a little silly to expect and then get bent out of shape when people try to shorten your name when they try to talk to you. Like, on Blue Moon, my username used to be Padan Fain and those who didn't call me "Padan" usually called me "Paddy" and I loved it. It would be different if people just started calling me names that were not any combination of the usernames I used(like, if they started calling me "Joe" for no reason other than being dicks). But if it's a long username and unique in it's spelling, and particularly if you're a well-liked and popular person or an authority figure on the forum who will constantly be talked to about this or that, then it is a little silly to get all frustrated when people call you something that is a shortened version of your name. It is what people do. If you only want to be called "Keith" ever or if being called your middle name is weird, then just put "Keith" or "Kathryn" when you sign up. Guess, what? After that, only dicks will add something weird like "Knifey" or "Joe" when it's not there. Otherwise, you're going to have to ask for it directly and request it from people until it sticks.

You know what bothers me? When people ask to be called something that is not their username and clearly not their real life name. If you want me to call you "Voldemort" then why isn't that your username? Why did you choose to sign up as "Really Randy" instead?

[Kathryn Lacey]

Ten, the problem with that logic is when people make it clear on multiple occasions that they would prefer to be called one thing or another. I've seen Keith tell multiple people multiple times in very public areas both in the chatbox and on the forums that he prefers to be called "Keith," and it can be extremely frustrating when one has to do it time and time again - as I've experienced for myself.

Just because you love/don't mind people calling you by whatever nickname they can conceive, it doesn't mean that other people are the same way. The beauty of life is diversity, that people don't all think the exact same things or feel the exact same ways.

Also, even if my username was just "Kathryn" there would still be the problem of people consistently trying to call me "Kath" the way they've done no matter where I have the username "Kathryn Lacey." I would personally rather be called by my middle name than by "Kath."

However, I can understand your last complaint. The reason why I use my real name as my username in most places is because I'd rather be called by my real name than some random username I conceived that may or may not have anything to do with me. =D

[Guest]

What I was saying, Kathryn, was that for people like Keith who would prefer not to repeat themselves or get so frustrated about it that they threaten people with bodily harm and they can't complete their thought without cursing about it, he should have just signed up as "Keith" to save himself the trouble. And for someone like you who does have a very unique spelling of your name, all you can do is not get upset when someone accidentally messes things up because typos happen and it's an odd way to spell your name. That's like getting upset if my name is Isadora and everybody misspells my name constantly because "Gosh! It's right there!Can't you reeaaaaad!!!?? It's not like you haven't seen this name every day of your life like I have!"

That's all I was trying to say.

[Kathryn Lacey]

I can agree that threats of death are definitely over the top and aggressive, but I also understand having anger issues and how small things, consistently done over a period of time after a long period of correcting people and/or stating a preference can eventually - with one small catalyst - send a person over the edge into an angry meltdown of rage.

Oh, random misspellings of my name don't irritate me. It's when it's consistently done by the same person when the person doing it can clearly see the actual spelling of my name. It's just inconsiderate on their part at that point.

Also, it's only irritating if someone misspells my name on a forum or something where it's right there beside every post I ever write (and to be fair, I do post quite a bit). In real life, I can pretty much count on the person simply hearing my name to spell it "Catherine," and I don't even bother to correct it unless it's someone I'm going to know longer than the amount of time it takes to get my bagels or something.

[Guest]

I really don't want to turn this into something, but this is the complaint thread and this is something that bothers me. I feel like maybe you're just not understanding me.

Let's put in a bit of perspective, please. Why are people getting so attached to their usernames? It's not that big of a deal, it's really not. And if you think he's wrong for getting overly dramatic about it, then stick to it. It's not necessary to jump on the same train when you disagree with someone. You can be nice while telling someone they're wrong without having to agree with them right after.

I do not agree that it is even something that needs a "last straw". Honestly, what is so hard about asking people? It takes literally two seconds to correct someone and it's not something to be angry about - you have absolutely no foot to stand on being harsh or angry with someone when it is a part of your username. You simply don't. You sign up with that username and you are already asking to be called by that name. It takes two seconds to pop in with a very small, "Oh, ha! Actually, I like Keith better. " If it is truly that awful, then he can ask to have his name changed to just "Keith" or put a note in his signature. There is no reason he should be getting that upset about it. It's a forum, guys. A role-playing forum.

As for your name, Kathryn, I am sorry people shorten your seven letter name to four letters and continue to do it even when you directly ask them not to. That's not cool but it's probably just easier to type. I'm certain they are not doing it intentionally for whatever reason.

[Kalon Ordona II]

I do tend to agree, since this was the first time I've seen the name request. However, if he'd been putting it out there already, I can't hold it against him if I haven't seen it. He's not /really/ threatening anyone, and he /did/ put it in a spoiler.

What's the complaint thread for if we can't complain? =)
What I got from it was "oh, he wants to be called Keith, got it," rather than "he doesn't have a right to complain." That's not always how complaining works.

Edit:
Kathryn, the comic is from Looking for Group. ^_^

[Kathryn Lacey]

Ten, I'm not fighting. I'm simply discussing, hon'. There's no reason to feel bothered by people expressing their opinions. I respect that you don't mind having people call you by nicknames. That's fine, but you also need to try to respect - even if you don't understand the hullabaloo - that Keith and I really don't like being referred to by nicknames. While you don't feel it's a big deal, it's because you're not bothered by it, and that's fine, but I'm one of those who is bothered by it.

Also, one theory about why others are attached to their usernames is because that's their online persona. It's what they use as their identities. It's like their online "name." I'm just one of those people who uses my real name as my user name.

While I do believe that violence is never the answer, I understand the motivation behind his hatred of being called by something other than his full username or the preferred portion of it, and I'm simply offering my support in his hoping that people will stop calling him something that bothers him.

I have grown up my entire life with people calling me by a name I don't like without my permission, having to constantly correct people on both what nicknames are okay and how to spell my name and how many syllables are in my name. It's obnoxious. You probably haven't had to deal with that because there aren't fifty million different spellings and nicknames that go with your actual name. If you had to grow up with it, it would probably bug you more than it does now, or maybe you're just way more chill than I will ever be. I do admit that I can be pretty neurotic sometimes. hahah

I believe that people are allowed to feel the way that they are going to feel. You don't think it's a big deal, but for others like Keith and for me, it is. Let's just keep the perspective that everyone has a different perspective.

I have a good friend who agrees with you that it's not a big deal, and I value her opinion greatly even if I don't always agree with it, but I'm not upset that she doesn't feel the same way as me. I'd just like her to understand my point of view - which I believe she does - while I understand hers.

Again, I agree that becoming harsh and angry over something like that sucks, but some people have shorter fuses. When I was a teenager, my fuse was no longer than an underscore, and anger was basically my auto-response to crap like this. I'm older now, and I've learned how to be calmer about these things, but because I've experienced the auto-anger response, I can understand how/why it's easier to reach for one kind of response over another. Sometimes I still get angry, but I'm better at hiding it and/or stuffing it down to a place where it can boil away into steam without boiling over the pot.

Another thing I've noticed is that even if something is just "the Internet" or a "forum," it can still be a big part of a person's life. Not everyone is extremely social. One of my best friends is a FoGger who I haven't met in person though I hope to one day remedy that detail if I can ever get my butt to Cali to do the "Gangnam Style" dance with her. I feel closer to her than I feel to a lot of the people that I've met since I moved to Utah over a year ago, and I feel closer to her than some of the people I knew when I lived in the state of Iowa where I grew up. If I didn't have FoG, I never would have met Gadreille, and even if I know we could live without each other, I like to believe that knowing her and being able to communicate with her enriches my life.

In fact, a lot of people on FoG are just really amazing people, and I am so glad that Tryne and Axiom made this place for us to all get together with a shared interest. I've learned so much since I started playing on this forum. Sure, there have been disagreements, but there have also been some really great memories and great learning experiences. We have such an eclectic batch of people from all over the world.

Yes, this is just a forum, but it's also a bit of a sanctuary, and if someone doesn't want to be called something, regardless of whether or not it is in their username, they shouldn't have to be called by that name. I have met soooooo many people here in real life where I work at Blockbuster who go by their middle names instead of their first names because they prefer their middle name. Is it right to say that if they prefer being called by their middle name that they should be forced to change their full name just to appease those who don't care one way or another?

That's like saying I should wear a big sign around my neck twenty-four/seven that outlines the proper spelling and pronunciation of my name along with a list of unacceptable nicknames that way people IRL will never have to make another mistake again.

This may just be a forum, but in a lot of ways, it correlates to our real lives, and we should be allowed to do what we want to do with who we are - as long as it isn't hurting anyone else. Why don't you just think of Knifey Keith preferring to go by his middle name (with "Keith" being the figurative middle name) rather than his first name? It's really not too much to ask.


Kalon, that's what I got from his rant, too! =D

Also, I feel like I've read it previously, but I have no idea... It's possible that Jonathan may have linked me to some of the strips or something... or maybe it's just a common artistic style. heheh

[Knifey Keith]

Ten, I'm not fighting. I'm simply discussing, hon'. There's no reason to feel bothered by people expressing their opinions. I respect that you don't mind having people call you by nicknames. That's fine, but you also need to try to respect - even if you don't understand the hullabaloo - that Keith and I really don't like being referred to by nicknames. While you don't feel it's a big deal, it's because you're not bothered by it, and that's fine, but I'm one of those who is bothered by it.

Also, one theory about why others are attached to their usernames is because that's their online persona. It's what they use as their identities. It's like their online "name." I'm just one of those people who uses my real name as my user name.

While I do believe that violence is never the answer, I understand the motivation behind his hatred of being called by something other than his full username or the preferred portion of it, and I'm simply offering my support in his hoping that people will stop calling him something that bothers him.

I have grown up my entire life with people calling me by a name I don't like without my permission, having to constantly correct people on both what nicknames are okay and how to spell my name and how many syllables are in my name. It's obnoxious. You probably haven't had to deal with that because there aren't fifty million different spellings and nicknames that go with your actual name. If you had to grow up with it, it would probably bug you more than it does now, or maybe you're just way more chill than I will ever be. I do admit that I can be pretty neurotic sometimes. hahah

I believe that people are allowed to feel the way that they are going to feel. You don't think it's a big deal, but for others like Keith and for me, it is. Let's just keep the perspective that everyone has a different perspective.

I have a good friend who agrees with you that it's not a big deal, and I value her opinion greatly even if I don't always agree with it, but I'm not upset that she doesn't feel the same way as me. I'd just like her to understand my point of view - which I believe she does - while I understand hers.

Again, I agree that becoming harsh and angry over something like that sucks, but some people have shorter fuses. When I was a teenager, my fuse was no longer than an underscore, and anger was basically my auto-response to crap like this. I'm older now, and I've learned how to be calmer about these things, but because I've experienced the auto-anger response, I can understand how/why it's easier to reach for one kind of response over another. Sometimes I still get angry, but I'm better at hiding it and/or stuffing it down to a place where it can boil away into steam without boiling over the pot.

Another thing I've noticed is that even if something is just "the Internet" or a "forum," it can still be a big part of a person's life. Not everyone is extremely social. One of my best friends is a FoGger who I haven't met in person though I hope to one day remedy that detail if I can ever get my butt to Cali to do the "Gangnam Style" dance with her. I feel closer to her than I feel to a lot of the people that I've met since I moved to Utah over a year ago, and I feel closer to her than some of the people I knew when I lived in the state of Iowa where I grew up. If I didn't have FoG, I never would have met Gadreille, and even if I know we could live without each other, I like to believe that knowing her and being able to communicate with her enriches my life.

In fact, a lot of people on FoG are just really amazing people, and I am so glad that Tryne and Axiom made this place for us to all get together with a shared interest. I've learned so much since I started playing on this forum. Sure, there have been disagreements, but there have also been some really great memories and great learning experiences. We have such an eclectic batch of people from all over the world.

Yes, this is just a forum, but it's also a bit of a sanctuary, and if someone doesn't want to be called something, regardless of whether or not it is in their username, they shouldn't have to be called by that name. I have met soooooo many people here in real life where I work at Blockbuster who go by their middle names instead of their first names because they prefer their middle name. Is it right to say that if they prefer being called by their middle name that they should be forced to change their full name just to appease those who don't care one way or another?

That's like saying I should wear a big sign around my neck twenty-four/seven that outlines the proper spelling and pronunciation of my name along with a list of unacceptable nicknames that way people IRL will never have to make another mistake again.

This may just be a forum, but in a lot of ways, it correlates to our real lives, and we should be allowed to do what we want to do with who we are - as long as it isn't hurting anyone else. Why don't you just think of Knifey Keith preferring to go by his middle name (with "Keith" being the figurative middle name) rather than his first name? It's really not too much to ask.


Kalon, that's what I got from his rant, too! =D

Also, I feel like I've read it previously, but I have no idea... It's possible that Jonathan may have linked me to some of the strips or something... or maybe it's just a common artistic style. heheh

Look the way I can shorten this down is… It's a matter of courtesy and respect; if someone would prefer to be referred to as a particular name… Regardless of their username; it's not much to ask.

I think much of a good way to welcome someone to the site and make them feel comfortable during their time here is just keep to the boundaries they set (Within reason obviously), initially you'll refer to someone as their user name. That being the logical step, but if someone says "Hey just call me Sam." or "I'd prefer to be called Deathblade." then why not?

Sometimes I've given people nicknames, such as Binary Melody. I call him Mel, Bicary Melroy, Belroy… But if he requests that I'd simply call him by his user name or another name… I feel it's fair to comply with that request.

[Gadreille]

*teary eyed friendship moment with kathryn*


I LOVE YOU (wo)MAN!!!!

Ok, back on topic. I've always called people by nicknames, because my real name is just short and strange enough never to warrant any nicknames. In fact, FoG is the only place that I am regularly called by something other than my true name. I guess to me, a nickname is this awesome attribute bestowed upon you, something ive never recieved. That said, I obviously align more with how ten feels, but at the same time, if I know someone doesn't like to be called by a certain name then I won't do it (even if I don't really understand why). The exception to this rule being when I purposely feel like pissing someone off (usually not online...you guys are lucky, I'm a lot nicer online than in person, just ask Ysopet) XD

I complain that I still feel like crud after 3.5 days of antibiotics, and I sincerely hope I don't have to go back to urgent care. That place is expensive.

[Kathryn Lacey]

:: hugs Gadreille :: I love you, too, (wo)Man! =D

Sometimes a nickname can be a really cool way to show someone you care about them. When I was little, my best friend's name was Amelia, and I called her Mewie, but around the time I stopped wanting to be called by my family nickname (Katie, bleh), I reverted back to calling her Amelia (and I think part of it was that I moved around a lot, so we weren't able to hang out every day when I lived hours or states away). One day, she's like, "How come you never call me 'Mewie' any more?" I hadn't realized it, but I'd hurt her feelings by no longer using the nickname I'd given her when we were seven even though we were in high school by that point. It was because it was our special thing. I've called her Mewie ever since unless I'm referring to her in conversation with someone who isn't in the loop.

Nicknames can be a really great thing, but I agree with Keith that if someone doesn't want one, it's just a matter of respect and courtesy to not use it.

I'm meaner in real life, too, Gadreille. I think it's because we don't have that awesome second where we can actually review what we've typed and decide whether or not it's appropriate to send before we click that button. That kind of moment in time doesn't exist as much in real life conversations.

Do you know what you have? It's not still your back, is it?

[Gadreille]

No it's not my back, I have an infection in my kidneys that is fairly unpleasant to say the least.

Part of it is the ability to review, but another part is that my kind of sarcasm doesn't really convey over the Internet. It either looks like I'm being a bitch or I'm an idiot >.< I think another part of it is that forums are documented conversations...I can talk one on one with a person and know I won't offend them, but how can I be sure not to offend every single person currently on FoG and also those in the future that may read it? I can't, so I put my polite hat on.

[Kathryn Lacey]

Aww. I'm so sorry that you have a kidney infection. I seriously hope it gets better, that the antibiotics just start working. I wouldn't stop taking them until they're gone; then you'll know for sure whether or not it's worked.

I can see that. While I've noticed on FoG a little better than other places that we (members, staff, etc.) seem better able to convey tone in our words than on other forums, it's still not always completely accurate guessing how someone is saying something in their mind as they type it. I can totally understand where you're coming from on that. My sense of humor doesn't work as well online as irl, either.

[Knifey Keith]

I love all you guys!

Lets all do military training and stockpile weapons and make explosives and destroy the British Government.

[Kathryn Lacey]

What if we accidentally ended up destroying Britain? I think I'd miss that super hot accent. =(


I complain that I want sweets, but they're making me sick, so I can't eat them... I wish I had some grapes or something. :: sighs ::

[Knifey Keith]

Naw it's all cool, my people have been at it for at least the last hundred years. I know how all this goes down.

[Kalon Ordona II]

I just heard a British accent today. No way I'm attacking England! xD

Also, what's with everybody being meaner in real life?
I'm just as nice in real life. ^_^ *cough*

Maybe it's not that everybody's naturally meaner. More likely there are situations in real life that don't come up in a text world. I mean, sure there's an element of putting your best foot forward, but it's hard to be nicer online than you have the capacity of being in real life--at least so I'd imagine.

Hmm, you know, I bet it's a combination of all of it. xD

[Kathryn Lacey]

Kalon, I would be willing to bet that you probably are just as nice in real life.


Winter is coming... I hate it... I'm wearing a sweater, and I'm still freezing. I'm dreading when I have to go take a shower if only for the fact that I will freeze into a Popsicle the moment I step out of it, regardless of the fact that the door will have been closed, trapping heat from the water in the room with me. This is just another injustice of winter. I wish I wasn't a lizard so I could better regulate my body temperature when my sunny rock (a.k.a. the boyfriend who always seems to have such wonderful body heat) isn't around to snuggle.

[Knifey Keith]

Kalon, I would be willing to bet that you probably are just as nice in real life.


Winter is coming... I hate it... I'm wearing a sweater, and I'm still freezing. I'm dreading when I have to go take a shower if only for the fact that I will freeze into a Popsicle the moment I step out of it, regardless of the fact that the door will have been closed, trapping heat from the water in the room with me. This is just another injustice of winter. I wish I wasn't a lizard so I could better regulate my body temperature when my sunny rock (a.k.a. the boyfriend who always seems to have such wonderful body heat) isn't around to snuggle.

Whiskey helps.

[Kathryn Lacey]

Neither my boyfriend nor I drink, so there's no alcohol in the house. Plus, I have to work in less than four hours, so that just seems like an all around bad idea. hahah

Besides, the one time I had whiskey, it was disgusting. That stuff burns, and it tastes so awful that I was willing to chase it with Mountain Dew (which also tastes awful). Not a good thing. If/when I get my rare drink on, I'll stick with the froufrou girly drinks.

[Knifey Keith]

Neither my boyfriend nor I drink, so there's no alcohol in the house. Plus, I have to work in less than four hours, so that just seems like an all around bad idea. hahah

Besides, the one time I had whiskey, it was disgusting. That stuff burns, and it tastes so awful that I was willing to chase it with Mountain Dew (which also tastes awful). Not a good thing. If/when I get my rare drink on, I'll stick with the froufrou girly drinks.

Fair enough, then eat whale or penguin blubber.

[Gadreille]

I need to live somewhere colder so I can drink whiskey more often

Kalon, it all boils down to hat wearing. When I'm online I adopt a sweeter, non-sarcastic version of myself that kind of melts away when I'm with close friends and family who I know are like-minded. It's not like I'm faking it, I'm just being a professional version of myself, much like I am sure many people are at their jobs. I was raised by a very down to earth father who reveled in pranks and sarcasm. I'm much like him, and proud of it.

[Jag]

My arm hurts.

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