Ask the Ghost ~ 005

[Charlie the Ghost]

The skies darken, and there is an evident air of a presence that surrounds you. The birds and bugs cease to make a sound, and the very air itself becomes icy cold. The wind dies down, and everything is still... for a few moments. Then, there is a voice.

Hurrah! Hurrah fur Chaahley the Gewst!
Here I is to haunt the foggy lot of ya!

Wewlcome to the fifth episode of Ask the Gewst!!
I've thought of a brilliant topic for us this round. Ready to hear wot it is?
Still ready? Suspense, and that?

Un-Relatives

Bit of a bozzler, wot? Meant to be, is that. I figured out it might be fun to have a riddler topic, somethin' one can interpret for 'nself.

The world is a bloody strange place, and Caligo's a strange place on the world, so a strange place in a strange world is bound to have lots of incongruities an' stuff wot doesn't fit with everythin' around it or the normal bits. You juss never can tell, right as right.

Righty-o, then! Ask me anythin' havin' to do with whatcha think Un-Relatives means.
We'll have a time of it, and no mistake!

We've got till the 25th.
Tell awll yer friends!

Hurr-hurr-hee....

---

The voice remains, still but everpresent. The gentle breeze resumes softly, if hesitantly. The air remains like ice, but here and there a bug chirps or clicks... perhaps out of boredom, or is it anticipation? The shade over the sky hovers, silent, ominous, waiting....

[Guest]

Well, it got me thinking of two characters of mine, Charlie. They are sometimes sisters, other times they're half-sister or not even related at all.

Can you somehow explain a phenomena like that? And was that what you had in mind?

Or possibly, un-relatives could be the ones we didn't want? Or those that's been joined to your family by marriage? They are relatives, kinda, but not of blood. So Un-relatives?

[Charlie the Ghost]

Aww, un-relatives is juss a thing to spark intrestin' conversation, lovey. It could mean those things or it could mean others. That's the fun of it, wot? Bit of a chuckle an' a lark? Bob's-yer-uncle.

I likes yer two characters bit! I've had a fair bit o' those meself. Writing's a bloody proper bit o' fun, init? The folk in yer head awll kinda bits of yeself, but then they gets life o' their own. Best of the whole business, worth awll the hullabaloo goes with it. Editors, publishing houses, and that.

Anyways, havin' two characters wot change spots is like havin' two actors in yer head, roight? They play the same type o' role, but the relationships'll change a bit between stories. That's mint. They're related but unrelated. Un-relatives. Brilliant way to apply the topic! I guess it happens cos things change and stay the same. Like you'll have the character cos it's part o' you, but the stories and that awll do diffrunt things, and some o' the characters don't change too much. So not unrelated but un-related. Smashing!

An' oi, 'allo, wossis? You've got more Un-Relatives for mey? Aww, I's chuffed, right indeed. In-laws, roight? Yeah, that makes perfect sense. Cos they're related, but they're not, and sometoimes you might even wish they weren't at awll. Brilliant! I never had any o' those meself, but I've seen plenty first hand in hauntin' folk wot wish less relatives, 'specially them in-laws.

As to why I think maybe that Un-Relative stuff like wot you've said happens, I think it's awll cos of chickens.

"Chickens, Chaahley? Whoiy chickens, Chaahley? 'Ave you gone a couple crumpets short of a tea party?" ye might say, roight? Well 'ere's 'ow i' is.

Chickens taste like evrything, roight? So people gets used to the idea that things can be totally the same and totally diffrunt simmultaneously. Also folk get chicken sometoimes, lok afraid, totally bonkers, so they make things same wot're diffrunt. See? It's like... thinkin' a monster's the same as a steamin' tea kettle... cos yer chicken. Or loike... havin' a bit of a start over the washer tumblin' about makin' a noise and thinkin' it's an earthquake or an air raid... cos of chicken. See, like that. It's lok a... big 'fraidy bleedin'... phnomminun, lok you said. So there's chickens and chicken wot makes people do same and diffrunt at the same time at diffrunt times in diffrunt ways wot're awll really the same. Any questions?

That's juss wot I think, though. 'Bout why your Un-Relatives works. Cos of chickens! And chicken. Birds of a feather 'n' awll that, wot?

Great job interpretin' the Un-Relatives, Miss Daggah-er! A charmin' blend of logic and wit and wondrin'. I'd hug ya to smithers, but me arms don't work properly. It'd be sort of an 'alf-an-'ug, and probally a li''le creepy for you, I dare say. Still and awll, I'll blow ya a kiss and say arvadurchay! (Tha's Italiun for 'beseeinya'.)

Bew!
Hurr-hurr! Gotcha, roight? Hurr-hurr-hee.

[Guest]

Awww Charlie! Thanks! Both for the discussion and the kiss!

Chickens you say? They make an appearance in lots of things, those small being that love corns, ey? Beware the chicken, or maybe welcome the chicken? I guess it depends on if they want un-relatives, ey?

[Charlie the Ghost]

Right you are, lovey!

Wellp, I'spose that's it fur this episode of Ask the Gewst. Fancy that! Thanks awfully for the question, Miss Daggah-er!

Be-seein'-ya next toime, Foggehs! I looks forward to haunting the lot of ya soon! Hurr-hurr-hee....

Send lots and lots more questions to me Proivut Messuging inbox!

And tell awll yer friends,
Chaahley says BEW!!

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The voice fades. Everything is still... for a few moments more. The gentle breeze resumes creating soft swirls in the unending mist. The air seems less icy, the bugs and birds seem to return as if there had never been a gap in their ambient whisperings. The shade over the sky rolls back. All is as it was. ...for now....

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