Ask the Ghost

by Charlie the Ghost Fri May 14, 2010 4:12 pm

The skies darken, and there is an evident air of a presence that surrounds you. The birds and bugs cease to make a sound, and the very air itself becomes icy cold. The wind dies down, and everything is still... for a few moments. Then, there is a voice.

Hurr-hurr-hee. Go'cha! Bring on the fanfare, bring on the chipper gits 'n' gels with their screamin' and applausin'! Chaahley the Gewst is 'ere!!

Thank yew, thank yew, one and awll. Now now, not ev'rybody at once. I s'pose I'd best get a start explainin' this 'ullabaloo, wot? Righty-o, then. Lately I've been getting loads and loads o' questions about this'n'that, and sometimes it takes me a while to get me thoughts in order. So! This'ere's a place where awll them questions'll get answered, y'see? Hurr-HAA!! Tha's right, you 'eard me. Questions answered, three at a toime, once ev'ry twoo weeks. Heres 'ow it works.

You send me a question in FOGgy's schmancy Proivut Messuging system, and ev'ry twoo weeks, on the 5th an' 20th of ev'ry month, I'll pick three out of awll my questions and answer 'em in complete detail. Yeah you bet I will! I'll witter on and on about 'em, too. Pick a question deep enough or silly enough and just see wot sort of education I can gives ya. I've had lots of toime to meself, y'see; I thinks about things. Ye can send me any question you loike, from "Oi Chaahley, wot's the meanin' o' loife?" to "Oi Chaahley, does you 'ave to clip your fingernails?" or "Oi Chaahley, wot's your favorite spot in Caligo?" And ye can send me juss as MANY AS YOU LOIKE! Tha's right, any question at awll, and as many as you ever want to ask. I'll answer 'em awll, I will! ...Eventchually.

So you send your messuge to Chaahley (yunnow: Cee, aytcH, Ayy, aahR, ewL, oIy, Eee) the Gewst--er, Ghost, yunnow how i' is. Once you 'ave me name in there, juss put "Ask the Ghost" in the subject line, and then go a'ead and ask me your questions, and Bob's-yer-uncle! Simple as tha'! Hurr-hmm-hmm-hee.

Righty-o, then. Tally-ho and awll that.

And tell awll yer friends,
Chaahley says BEW!!

The voice fades. Everything is still... for a few moments more. The gentle breeze resumes creating soft swirls in the unending mist. The air seems less icy, the bugs and birds seem to return as if there had never been a gap in their ambient whisperings. The shade over the sky rolls back. All is as it was. ...for now....