Ask the Ghost ~ 002

[Charlie the Ghost]

The skies darken, and there is an evident air of a presence that surrounds you. The birds and bugs cease to make a sound, and the very air itself becomes icy cold. The wind dies down, and everything is still... for a few moments. Then, there is a voice.

Hurrah! Chaahley the Gewst is in the 'ouse!
Well, the wood, leastways.

Wewlcome to the second episode of Ask the Gewst!!
I'm doin' things a bit diffrently this week. Instead of pickin' random questions from me inbox, I'll pick a topic and stick around for a coupla days to witter away at it. Ask me questions to keep me goin'.

For this episode, I'll be here'n'about until the 10th.
The topic?

Bloody Weather

Oi, now don't be bozzled by the title. We won't be talkin' about vampire activities in winter or about weapons of mass destruction, wot? That juss means bad weather for, say, a bit of a stroll in a park, which is simmultaneously good weather for a bit of decent hauntin'.

So! Ever wondered how the weather affects me daily routine? That's wot we're 'ere to discuss. And a fair bit more there is to it than people think. Tisn't awll mist and fog, and that--truss me, that's no porky. Caligo always has clouds, sure, but that juss means more wind, rain... more bloody weather.

Weather's a bloody bugger and no mistake. And unpredictable, 'specially on Caligo. You never get what you bargained for. Quite bonkers.

Righty-o, then, ask yer questions! What'll I talk about first? Fog? Rain? Whirlwind? You name it, we've got it and then some. I could even tell you stories about a bit of a breeze! Nothin's like you'd expect, and I've haunted in awll of it.

We've got till the 10th.
Tell awll yer friends!

Hurr-hurr-hurr hee....

---

The voice remains, still but everpresent. The gentle breeze resumes softly, if hesitantly. The air remains like ice, but here and there a bug chirps or clicks... perhaps out of boredom, or is it anticipation? The shade over the sky hovers, silent, ominous, waiting....

[wakeangel]

~shivers~ Brrr...
I've always wanted to ask a ghost this, Charlie: Do you ever tend to lose yourself in fog?

[Charlie the Ghost]

Charlie: Do you ever tend to lose yourself in the fog?

Actually that's the great thing about fog. Gewsts cannut get lost in it! Bein' dead, I can sees things. Trees, frinstance, have a bit of a grennish glow to 'em wot shows through the mist. Means they're aloive. Got loife in 'em. Sorta lok how trees grow, lok a leaf or a li''le twig, but bigga.

Since trees're aloive, I get to see it, even in fog. Tree just says "Oi, Chaahley, I'm a tree!" and I kinda snigger at it.

So foggy forests're no problem. Where else is there fog? Some's on lakes, some's by houses, some's in fields. Foggy fields sometimes gives me a bit of a hampering. Awll the woide open spaces with nothin' about--throws a spanner in the works when I'm juss out for a floaty stroll. O'course then it wouldn't really matter if I got lost, wot? Houses and streets and that, them gives me no troublin' at awll, since I can juss go roight through 'em--meanin' the buildings. Nobody goes on lakes, so I don't really neither, so I don't really get lost on foggy lakes. I s'pose I could, though. Unless I were haunting some git on a skiff.

Anytoime I'm haunting a body, in fact, I never gets lost b'cause I can see 'em in the fog, even far-off-ish. Trees're more-a-less the same to each other, but persons've got diffrent colours and stoyles and things. Depends on their personality and how strong a spirit they've got. Doesn't always say much about whether they're good or bad, mostly juss sorta what makes 'em tick. Anyway that stuff'll show 'em up to me well good, foggy or not.

Another bleeding great thing with fog and mist is how it awll floats and swirls and rolls about. Bein' a gewst can be lok that. It's fun to get caught up in it. It's even more fun to do a bit of haunting in it. Fog's one o' the best things to haunt in, 'cos they're awll nancy from it to begin with, kinda squeamish. Floatin' around with the fog juss makes 'em start a-sweatin', even in parky weather. After a bit of that, a right "BEW" really does the trick.

Does I tend to lose meself in the fog? Sometoimes yeah, for fun, when I've nothin' better to be at. Gewsts don't sleep, so a nice patch o' fog is a brill way to have a bit of a kip--as much as a gewst can. Relaxin', is fog. Takes a load off the ol' noggin, to juss kinda do nothin' and float around, dossing the day away.

Thanks awfully for the question, wakeangel!
Hurr-hurr-hee.

[Guest]

Hi, Charlie. I have a question.
Are you ever blown away? By wind I mean.

[Charlie the Ghost]

Are you ever blown away? By wind I mean.

D'pends on the wind, really. Bein' a gewst is about bein' half in and half out, ye moight say. So I half move through the air, I half sink in the dirt, I half go through wawlls... 'nd I half get blowed by winds. So if the wind is really strong... yunnow, lok a bit of a bluster... the stuff juss blows half through me, and the rest sort of blows me about. This cawses some confusion, as you can imagine, dunnit? Yeah it does. 'Ere's how it goes.

Wind picks up, roight? So I'm floating in lok a fog, or a bit of a mist, frinstance, and the bluster comes a-wailin' through the trees, and the fog starts to moove. Now normally a bit of a wind affecks me less than livin' folk, blowin' half through me. So for the wind to blow me about it has to be twice as strong as for blowin' about normal folk so's it can blow me at awll. Then if it wants to blow me away, lok away off somewheres, it'll have to blow twice twice times on account of the half blowin' through me and the other half needed to blow me at awll, blow me about, and blow me away. Any questions?

Not that it's very pleasant. Rememba the confusion? Well that's b'cause of me gettin blown half way makes me want to get blown twice as less... or half as much... which means I'm blowed in a bit of a streak. And that's a well odd feelin' and no mistake, let me tell you. There I is, standin' in a spot, when suddenly I'm streaked off halfways standin' and halfways blowin' before the rest of me starts tryin' to catch up. I get to be sort of a blurr, lok a speedin'... I dunno... lok a jumpy fish... or lok a fencin' match where the swords go clicker-clack awll speedily. So... yeah, that's about wot it's like.

Thanks awfully for the question, Miss Dagger!
Hurr-hurr-hoo.

[Charlie the Ghost]

Roighty-o! That finishes off this episode of Ask the Gewst! Be seein' the lot of ye in another ten days!

Do send me more questions. Throw 'em into me inbox, the ol' Proivut Messuging system. PM's, wot? Li''l notes and letters, emails and that. Ask me anythin' ye loike, anythin' at awll. I'm an ewpen book. (Well not really... I'm a gewst, got secruts and that, baggage and bugger-all stories, li''l antidotes... wait, not antidotes... anti... antidote.... annik... anecdote, thassit, got loads of 'em. Leastways I got the one about old Joey, and the one about the duck, and the codfish... something about a-- where wos I?)

Thanks again for the questions! Yer awll brilliant!
I'll sees you lot soon! Get ready for a well hauntin'! Hurr-hurr-hee.

And tell awll yer friends,
Chaahley says BEW!!

---

The voice fades. Everything is still... for a few moments more. The gentle breeze resumes creating soft swirls in the unending mist. The air seems less icy, the bugs and birds seem to return as if there had never been a gap in their ambient whisperings. The shade over the sky rolls back. All is as it was. ...for now....

[Bird of Hermes]

Goodbye, Charlie!

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