ToxiCity: Memory Bank
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FOG: Footsteps of Ghosts :: In Character :: Private Role-Playing :: Private Out of Character Discussion :: Archived Private OoC Topics
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ToxiCity: Memory Bank
The year is 4031, on the planet J-Prime. The government, known as the Galactic Republic, rules over this, and several other small planets all around the orbit of Ra, and in the galaxy Ralis (ray-lis). The people are advanced, and technology especially so. We've even run up on a few alien races; but by now we've made peace with the most of them. But let me stop babbling.
On J-Prime, there is the most populated city in the entire galaxy. This city is about 150 miles in width and length. In it, is held some of the greatest getaways and vacation spots, included with the best entertainment. This city is called Toxi. And within this city, is a large club/concert hall called "Mirage". Here, and tonight, will be performing one of Ralis' most treasured young performers. Her name is Roxanne Bailey, but on stage she is known as "Vision".
And tonight, before she can perform, she needs a bodyguard. The call for one has gone out, and now you've been chosen. Merely show up, and let the job start on her clock.
But what you don't realize, is that this simple superstar is in a lot more trouble than you'd think. So strap on your seatbelt, because this petite celebrity is about to take you on a ride through the future's secrets.
Things about my FUTURE
Firing weapons are arranged into two such categories:
Laser- These fire lasers, and have small broad little clips that usually have small flickering lights to show laser charge. Lasers burn through most materials. They can put a good hole through metal, but if it's thick metal, won't go all the way through.
Radiation- These are more sleek and professional guns, used by police force and whatnot mostly. They can render a person unable to use a body part or whatnot for a certain length of time. Now, if you use a strong radiation gun, you can shatter a person's DNA and cause them to lose said arm or (wherever they were fired at), due to the lack of body structure. Example: if they were shot in the arm with a strong Radiation gun, that arm would almost turn to water and just splash to the ground. In such manner, Radiation guns are very dangerous.
Close-quarter weapons are different as well:
Steel Blade- An old school blade is made out of sharp steel or silver, usually braced with some other metal that makes it impossible to break. Old school blades are heavier than most.
Plasma- A plasma knife/blade/sword is very lightweight- almost feather-like. They prove for better speed, and can burn through most objects, save for that metal is hard to cut through- just as bone is.
Radio-Blade- A Radio-Blade is a rare find, and very nice. It is a steel blade with an edge that is ''Radioactive''. This blade edge can poison someone when it cuts them, and can also- if strong enough- can turn a cut into a watery form-less matter, which can spread like a virus and eat away at a person's physical make-up.
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Travel is by:
Hover Craft- They look like the body of a car, except sleeker and with black window material from the windshield on back to the trunk. They have a single long headlight of sorts, and beneath them have a circular set up of switching gears that negate gravity as well as push against it, or push past it.
Hover Bike- This is a small but long creation. It is slender and is built not to be sat on, but to be leaned into. A person sits on this bike and leans inward. The pedals are near the back, and the handles near the front. Beneath it, instead of a circular anti-gravity set up, they have a system of almost thin stair-like mini anti-gravity components. Hover Bikes are mostly for racing and are extremely expensive.
Shuttle- Long distance travel is via a sleek white structure that mimics a plane yet has no wings. Instead, the wings protrude as a part of the center, making it triangular in shape.
Transporter- This is an inexpensive taxi-like hovering vehicle that travels upwards and flies, instead of obeys the road elevation rules. They are fast and usually cheap- but only because their drivers can be a bit reckless.
Walking- Need I explain?
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Between Eternity and Klikxx. This is for OOC and plotting for the storyline.
I'll put up my character sheet sooner or later lol.
~Eternity
Eternity- Corporeal Spirit
- Join date : 2009-05-25
Posts : 3144
Age : 32
Location : SoBo, VA
Re: ToxiCity: Memory Bank
A thought occurred to me that our literary creations use very little free writing in the process. I’ll admit I use it to a limited degree. We use the technique to come up with simple plot lines and perhaps characters from that point on it is simply abandoned as we try to keep pace with the game thread. What if we used the occ as a simple means of throwing out ideas and possible tangents in this way? Create a rough draft so to speak so we have a direction of where we plan to head next.
In this manner the occ serves as a simple plot synopsis allowing us the opportunity to decide where we want to dwell and things we plan to glaze over. It also provides the opportunity to think ahead a little in our posts even while waiting for the other to reply. This way the story becomes more of a writing collaboration instead of a simple response to a previous post or two. Perhaps we may even be inspired more by the process.
I have also toyed with the idea of welcoming other’s suggestions although it seems like opening Pandora’s Box. Sometimes we get a little dose of tunnel vision with our characters and where we see the story going we loose something in the process. Maybe we have run into a mental block on just what to do next. An outsider’s point of view may well come forth with an idea or twist we hadn’t even considered. This too could add some fresh energy to a sagging story or overcome that mental hurdle that stands in the way.
I had considered all of this to fall under the title “ToxiCity: Memory Bank.” It is after all a storage facility for ideas whether we put them into play or not. Much of what I have just jotted down may or may not appeal to you. When I look back at it later on it may or may not seem as attractive a thought as I first conceived. That’s the purpose of free writing.
All that said when we do start I would like to begin. Here is the premise.
Opening Scene:
Eddie wakes in a cold sweat. It had been the same dream he had had over and over again the past few months. It had gotten worse since he had found out who she was. This dream indicated even the letters he had sent had not changed what is to happen. He must go there himself and prevent this vision from becoming reality.
I will probably start with the dream itself. A foreshadowing of what is to take place if the future isn’t changed. This is where the exchange of ideas is helpful. This also gives us the opportunity of a few posts to reveal our characters before the meet. Like you described once they meet it’s time to strap on your seatbelt, because this petite celebrity is about to take us on a ride through the future's secrets.
In this manner the occ serves as a simple plot synopsis allowing us the opportunity to decide where we want to dwell and things we plan to glaze over. It also provides the opportunity to think ahead a little in our posts even while waiting for the other to reply. This way the story becomes more of a writing collaboration instead of a simple response to a previous post or two. Perhaps we may even be inspired more by the process.
I have also toyed with the idea of welcoming other’s suggestions although it seems like opening Pandora’s Box. Sometimes we get a little dose of tunnel vision with our characters and where we see the story going we loose something in the process. Maybe we have run into a mental block on just what to do next. An outsider’s point of view may well come forth with an idea or twist we hadn’t even considered. This too could add some fresh energy to a sagging story or overcome that mental hurdle that stands in the way.
I had considered all of this to fall under the title “ToxiCity: Memory Bank.” It is after all a storage facility for ideas whether we put them into play or not. Much of what I have just jotted down may or may not appeal to you. When I look back at it later on it may or may not seem as attractive a thought as I first conceived. That’s the purpose of free writing.
All that said when we do start I would like to begin. Here is the premise.
Opening Scene:
Eddie wakes in a cold sweat. It had been the same dream he had had over and over again the past few months. It had gotten worse since he had found out who she was. This dream indicated even the letters he had sent had not changed what is to happen. He must go there himself and prevent this vision from becoming reality.
I will probably start with the dream itself. A foreshadowing of what is to take place if the future isn’t changed. This is where the exchange of ideas is helpful. This also gives us the opportunity of a few posts to reveal our characters before the meet. Like you described once they meet it’s time to strap on your seatbelt, because this petite celebrity is about to take us on a ride through the future's secrets.
Klikxx- Shadow
- Join date : 2009-06-30
Posts : 211
Location : between here and there
Re: ToxiCity: Memory Bank
This is my early thoughts on the bodyguard
The Character Sheet- (ROUGH DRAFT)
Name: Former Det. Edward Gutirez
Age: 32
Race: Human
Gender: Male
Height: 5’7”
Weight: 165 lbs
Hair Colour: Black
Eye Colour: blue
Facial Hair Colour: black
Facial Hair Style: mustache and goatee
Scars: Facial skin is coarse and pitted
Tattoos: -small circle containing the letters AA located on the back of his left hand between his thumb and forefinger.
Power/Ability: Precognition (foresight):
- visions of the future come in flashes
- very much like a prolonged sense of déjà vu
- typically when sleeping.
Personality:
- irritable to say the least much because of the lack of sleep
- loner who keeps to himself
- prefers not to share what he is thinking or feeling.
History:
-his visions have been both a blessing and a curse.
-drinks in effort to suppress the dreams and allow himself to sleep
-insomniac
-former detective has washed out of the police force.
-has had the same recurring vision over the past 8 weeks of a girl in danger
-only recently has he identified the target. A young entertainer named Roxanne Bailey
Anything else?:
-highly observant of people and venues
- able to quickly surveying a room and remember the tiniest of details.
-walks with a noticeable limp and carries a metallic cane.
-subtle secrets of people are revealed through origami creations
Picture:
You indicated the kidnappers are linked to the government. The Galactic Republic as you call it reminds me of Star Wars. It sounds also sounds a little cheesy to me.
Do we want to tie it to the government or a corrupt and powerful corporation? We all know the government is in the pockets of these corporations anyways. Why not cut out the middle man
The letter
1) a blackmail note written by a fan and/or
2) an anonymous letter indicating she was in danger (abduction)
-written on paper folded into an origami figure (Elephant?)
-the anonymous letter was in fact written by Eddie after premonitory dream.
-the origami folding will reveal he was the one who sent the tip off at a later date.
The dream
-Roxanne is attacked by street thugs and carried away
-before or after performance?(She is in stage attire)
-landmark gives away location.
-dream begins vague and choppy revealing scattered details
-visions become clearer as the time and participants draw closer together.
The Character Sheet- (ROUGH DRAFT)
Name: Former Det. Edward Gutirez
Age: 32
Race: Human
Gender: Male
Height: 5’7”
Weight: 165 lbs
Hair Colour: Black
Eye Colour: blue
Facial Hair Colour: black
Facial Hair Style: mustache and goatee
Scars: Facial skin is coarse and pitted
Tattoos: -small circle containing the letters AA located on the back of his left hand between his thumb and forefinger.
Power/Ability: Precognition (foresight):
- visions of the future come in flashes
- very much like a prolonged sense of déjà vu
- typically when sleeping.
Personality:
- irritable to say the least much because of the lack of sleep
- loner who keeps to himself
- prefers not to share what he is thinking or feeling.
History:
-his visions have been both a blessing and a curse.
-drinks in effort to suppress the dreams and allow himself to sleep
-insomniac
-former detective has washed out of the police force.
-has had the same recurring vision over the past 8 weeks of a girl in danger
-only recently has he identified the target. A young entertainer named Roxanne Bailey
Anything else?:
-highly observant of people and venues
- able to quickly surveying a room and remember the tiniest of details.
-walks with a noticeable limp and carries a metallic cane.
-subtle secrets of people are revealed through origami creations
Picture:
The plot:
(better version)
- - - - - -
Roxanne finds herself worried about her next performance after having been blackmailed by a fan. It's seemingly harmless, but she'd rather be on the safe side and hire a bodyguard. Well, the night of his appearance and her performance as well, the blackmailed threat becomes a reality. A group of street thugs in Toxi attempt to kidnap Roxanne in hopes of getting great ransom from her agent for her.
Well, from there, the story unravels that one of these kidnappers is apart of the government. When Roxanne refuses to let go of the paranoia that something bigger than just small-time greed is going on, she chooses to investigate. And the adventure is born, when a web of lies and deception unfolds in a world made of sin, sex, and fortune.
You indicated the kidnappers are linked to the government. The Galactic Republic as you call it reminds me of Star Wars. It sounds also sounds a little cheesy to me.
Do we want to tie it to the government or a corrupt and powerful corporation? We all know the government is in the pockets of these corporations anyways. Why not cut out the middle man
The letter
1) a blackmail note written by a fan and/or
2) an anonymous letter indicating she was in danger (abduction)
-written on paper folded into an origami figure (Elephant?)
-the anonymous letter was in fact written by Eddie after premonitory dream.
-the origami folding will reveal he was the one who sent the tip off at a later date.
The dream
-Roxanne is attacked by street thugs and carried away
-before or after performance?(She is in stage attire)
-landmark gives away location.
-dream begins vague and choppy revealing scattered details
-visions become clearer as the time and participants draw closer together.
Klikxx- Shadow
- Join date : 2009-06-30
Posts : 211
Location : between here and there
Re: ToxiCity: Memory Bank
I do like all that you've offered up here! Klikxx, you are unassailable. Regardless: I'm going to try and just be satisfied with this version of Roxanne.
Name: Roxanne Bailey
Stage Name: Vision
Age: 26
Stage Age: 23
Gender: female
Race: Human
Height/Weight: 5'5'' : 121 lbs.
Hair Color/Eye Color: Black : amber/dark honey
Appearance:
Usual Stage Attire:
-Her usual stage attire is noted by a pair of tight neon leggings with a black skirt/shorts over them, with a corset/vinyl styled top. She is also known to wear a collection of jewelery as well as gloves, and a small masquerade mask, with her hair pulled up or let down wildly.
Scars: 3
-One along her inner left thigh
-One along her right upper arm
-One round scar along the right clavicle
Tattoos: 4
-A tribal dragon up the back
-Cherry blossoms along the shoulders
-Spider on the left hand between finger and thumb
-A fairy at the bottom of her back
Personality: Roxanne is a bubbly and effervescent person. She's always seeming to be on some kind of life high, and looks at things as though it's all in lime lighting. She can be a bit risky and hazard-prone at times, but wouldn't give up her lifestyle for much of anything. Roxy is a fun-loving superstar who is both curious and enticing to be around. Most people highly enjoy her company, and know her for her bright personality. Beneath such, she is calm and collected, with a small bit of a stubborn side.
History:
-Roxy was adopted by a rich lonesome widow who gave to her child all her spoils. As a child, Roxy never really got to understand a maternal bond because her foster mother who went by "Mima". Because of such, she never really forms strong relationships with people, and has a tendency to walk away from people when they need her the most. Later yet, her Mima died, and she inherited the woman's riches. With these, she changed her appearance and gained an alias called Valarie Vesex. Of the voluminous opulence, she purchased a set of studio time and recorded a small diskette of tracks; which soon boomed into the mainstream. After a good set of years, she gained fame and hasn't let go of it, losing sight of reality as she grips tight to this celeb lifestyle, attaining the name "Vision".
Other:
-She does not like to stick around when the lime-light's not on her.
-She prefers to walk away from someone before dealing with their problems.
-Roxy denies that she's in trouble when she honestly is.
-She as well tends to find herself in a bit of a confused state, as she has no idea of the life below the riches; as she's always had it pretty luxurious after the age of three.
Name: Roxanne Bailey
Stage Name: Vision
Age: 26
Stage Age: 23
Gender: female
Race: Human
Height/Weight: 5'5'' : 121 lbs.
Hair Color/Eye Color: Black : amber/dark honey
Appearance:
Usual Stage Attire:
-Her usual stage attire is noted by a pair of tight neon leggings with a black skirt/shorts over them, with a corset/vinyl styled top. She is also known to wear a collection of jewelery as well as gloves, and a small masquerade mask, with her hair pulled up or let down wildly.
Scars: 3
-One along her inner left thigh
-One along her right upper arm
-One round scar along the right clavicle
Tattoos: 4
-A tribal dragon up the back
-Cherry blossoms along the shoulders
-Spider on the left hand between finger and thumb
-A fairy at the bottom of her back
Personality: Roxanne is a bubbly and effervescent person. She's always seeming to be on some kind of life high, and looks at things as though it's all in lime lighting. She can be a bit risky and hazard-prone at times, but wouldn't give up her lifestyle for much of anything. Roxy is a fun-loving superstar who is both curious and enticing to be around. Most people highly enjoy her company, and know her for her bright personality. Beneath such, she is calm and collected, with a small bit of a stubborn side.
History:
-Roxy was adopted by a rich lonesome widow who gave to her child all her spoils. As a child, Roxy never really got to understand a maternal bond because her foster mother who went by "Mima". Because of such, she never really forms strong relationships with people, and has a tendency to walk away from people when they need her the most. Later yet, her Mima died, and she inherited the woman's riches. With these, she changed her appearance and gained an alias called Valarie Vesex. Of the voluminous opulence, she purchased a set of studio time and recorded a small diskette of tracks; which soon boomed into the mainstream. After a good set of years, she gained fame and hasn't let go of it, losing sight of reality as she grips tight to this celeb lifestyle, attaining the name "Vision".
Other:
-She does not like to stick around when the lime-light's not on her.
-She prefers to walk away from someone before dealing with their problems.
-Roxy denies that she's in trouble when she honestly is.
-She as well tends to find herself in a bit of a confused state, as she has no idea of the life below the riches; as she's always had it pretty luxurious after the age of three.
Eternity- Corporeal Spirit
- Join date : 2009-05-25
Posts : 3144
Age : 32
Location : SoBo, VA
Re: ToxiCity: Memory Bank
I don't know about unassailable.
Unaccessable at times. Maybe even aloof.
I don't know if I am ready at the moment to dive fully into this at the moment. Too many fresh role play wounds that need to heal. I seem to have developed a caustic attitude. Time to replace the filter.
Now that we have the basic characters to work with time to give them some rough direction.I am sure much will change as we begin to narrow our parameters. I like Roxanne. She is far older than I had imagined which makes her more formidable. Spoiled rich, girl? Definitely going to be a handful.
I also noticed both our characters have a small tatoo on their left hand between the thumb and the index finger. Mine is a reminder to refrain from drinking. Doesn't work as well as I would like. That would mean yours serves as a reminder noNOT to eat spiders. I didn't think you were that kind of girl.
[cue music] The itzy bitzy spider climbed up........
Now that I have poked for fun.
Any ideas where we will take this shortly after the foiled abduction?
Unaccessable at times. Maybe even aloof.
I don't know if I am ready at the moment to dive fully into this at the moment. Too many fresh role play wounds that need to heal. I seem to have developed a caustic attitude. Time to replace the filter.
Now that we have the basic characters to work with time to give them some rough direction.I am sure much will change as we begin to narrow our parameters. I like Roxanne. She is far older than I had imagined which makes her more formidable. Spoiled rich, girl? Definitely going to be a handful.
I also noticed both our characters have a small tatoo on their left hand between the thumb and the index finger. Mine is a reminder to refrain from drinking. Doesn't work as well as I would like. That would mean yours serves as a reminder noNOT to eat spiders. I didn't think you were that kind of girl.
[cue music] The itzy bitzy spider climbed up........
Now that I have poked for fun.
Any ideas where we will take this shortly after the foiled abduction?
Klikxx- Shadow
- Join date : 2009-06-30
Posts : 211
Location : between here and there
Re: ToxiCity: Memory Bank
Hm, well I've wanted to tweak the storyline, so I'm actually glad we're not jumping into this. I'd love to make the story with your help, and thus I'm open to plot ideas and twists.
Now instead of the government being responsible, I've really taken a liking to your idea that a big corporation or business is to blame. Perhaps they are secretly falling out of the economy's high standards, and at a risk of failing. With this, they need an icon and money; and what better than Vision herself? When having failed in the past in attempts to sign her to their company and create a new branch of entertainment, they decided the new resort was kidnapping. To make an undeniable deal.
But then I'd like to settle out what intentions may lie deeper. Perhaps the CEO is related to Mima, the foster mother who passed her riches onto the adopted star-to-be. Maybe the company has some pharmaceutical purpose and hopes to create a rule over the people in Toxi. The main point of all of my plans is that the city is ''polluted'' with lies and greed to some fair extent. Maybe we can make the plan of that actually have a stronger meaning by creating a drug twist within it. Who knows, I'm just spurting off ideas at the moment.
Now instead of the government being responsible, I've really taken a liking to your idea that a big corporation or business is to blame. Perhaps they are secretly falling out of the economy's high standards, and at a risk of failing. With this, they need an icon and money; and what better than Vision herself? When having failed in the past in attempts to sign her to their company and create a new branch of entertainment, they decided the new resort was kidnapping. To make an undeniable deal.
But then I'd like to settle out what intentions may lie deeper. Perhaps the CEO is related to Mima, the foster mother who passed her riches onto the adopted star-to-be. Maybe the company has some pharmaceutical purpose and hopes to create a rule over the people in Toxi. The main point of all of my plans is that the city is ''polluted'' with lies and greed to some fair extent. Maybe we can make the plan of that actually have a stronger meaning by creating a drug twist within it. Who knows, I'm just spurting off ideas at the moment.
Eternity- Corporeal Spirit
- Join date : 2009-05-25
Posts : 3144
Age : 32
Location : SoBo, VA
Re: ToxiCity: Memory Bank
The Undeniable Deal
What if your manager had in fact set all these events into motion?
Here is the scattered thought behind it. Have you ever seen the movie version of Josie and the Pusseycats? It has been a while for me but the premise is a meteoric rise to fame of a group of relative unknowns. Sound familiar. Well it would seem the manager was putting subliminal messages into the recorded tracks to make the group’s popularity rise thus making him ooodles of cash in the process.
What if he had instituted the same principle across a much more lucrative market? What if he could reach out through a media giant and not only influence the recording industry but television and multi media pod casts? Face it sex sells and for that they need a personality. That is where Roxanne fit in. Only thing he didn’t count on the performer to be so strong willed and nix the deal.
His dream falling apart he has engineered the kidnapping. The plan is to have the media giant corporation put up the ransom. You being grateful (they hope that would be how you see it anyways) now are willing to sign the deal. The corporation gets what they want and the manager expands his empire.
Now what if after the kidnapping has been put into play the media mogul find out just what the manager has stumbled across. The manager’s thinking is small time compared to what this entrepreneur has in mind. With the brain washing engine already created and tested time for a hostile take over of the assets (includes Roxanne) and the next phase of the adventure is put into motion.
Now all we need is a media mogul much like Ted Turner of Ted Rodgers for the ultimate antagonist of the story.
Using a girl like Roxanne and taking the pop charts by storm becomes just a test market. With the assets they now possess they can control the county. Instead of a musical icon why not the next President of the United States of America.
Think big or go home I always say.
What if your manager had in fact set all these events into motion?
Here is the scattered thought behind it. Have you ever seen the movie version of Josie and the Pusseycats? It has been a while for me but the premise is a meteoric rise to fame of a group of relative unknowns. Sound familiar. Well it would seem the manager was putting subliminal messages into the recorded tracks to make the group’s popularity rise thus making him ooodles of cash in the process.
What if he had instituted the same principle across a much more lucrative market? What if he could reach out through a media giant and not only influence the recording industry but television and multi media pod casts? Face it sex sells and for that they need a personality. That is where Roxanne fit in. Only thing he didn’t count on the performer to be so strong willed and nix the deal.
His dream falling apart he has engineered the kidnapping. The plan is to have the media giant corporation put up the ransom. You being grateful (they hope that would be how you see it anyways) now are willing to sign the deal. The corporation gets what they want and the manager expands his empire.
Now what if after the kidnapping has been put into play the media mogul find out just what the manager has stumbled across. The manager’s thinking is small time compared to what this entrepreneur has in mind. With the brain washing engine already created and tested time for a hostile take over of the assets (includes Roxanne) and the next phase of the adventure is put into motion.
Now all we need is a media mogul much like Ted Turner of Ted Rodgers for the ultimate antagonist of the story.
Using a girl like Roxanne and taking the pop charts by storm becomes just a test market. With the assets they now possess they can control the county. Instead of a musical icon why not the next President of the United States of America.
Think big or go home I always say.
Klikxx- Shadow
- Join date : 2009-06-30
Posts : 211
Location : between here and there
Re: ToxiCity: Memory Bank
I swear you are genius, I really like that. And now... time for a nap. lol.
I'll be back online later to either input more, maybe talk about stages that the story will go through (as in 1) Kidnapping, 2) bla bla bla), kind of like chapters; though I wouldn't create new ICs for each chapter, just mark a new chapter at the top of a post.
What do you think?
I'll be back online later to either input more, maybe talk about stages that the story will go through (as in 1) Kidnapping, 2) bla bla bla), kind of like chapters; though I wouldn't create new ICs for each chapter, just mark a new chapter at the top of a post.
What do you think?
Eternity- Corporeal Spirit
- Join date : 2009-05-25
Posts : 3144
Age : 32
Location : SoBo, VA
Re: ToxiCity: Memory Bank
Works for me.
I am off for some much needed food.
FOOD...FOOD...FOOD :bounce:
Later Gater
I am off for some much needed food.
FOOD...FOOD...FOOD :bounce:
Later Gater
Klikxx- Shadow
- Join date : 2009-06-30
Posts : 211
Location : between here and there
Re: ToxiCity: Memory Bank
I like the idea of chapters. It gives us a chance to bookmark various points we want to explore. It also allow the insertion of ideas still keeping an eye on the big picture.
I actually watched Josie and the Pusseycats tonight. I was as cheezy as I remembered but warranted a few good chuckles. The blonde(Melody) was the stereotypical blonde that just made me shake my head at her antics.
I did enjoy Wyatt the mega record manager. Even his look fit the way I envision your weasel-like pusher. What I had forgot about the movie was just how much advertising was pushed into your face.
Thanks for the genius compliment. Don't know if it fits but I will wear it for now.
I actually watched Josie and the Pusseycats tonight. I was as cheezy as I remembered but warranted a few good chuckles. The blonde(Melody) was the stereotypical blonde that just made me shake my head at her antics.
I did enjoy Wyatt the mega record manager. Even his look fit the way I envision your weasel-like pusher. What I had forgot about the movie was just how much advertising was pushed into your face.
Thanks for the genius compliment. Don't know if it fits but I will wear it for now.
Klikxx- Shadow
- Join date : 2009-06-30
Posts : 211
Location : between here and there
Re: ToxiCity: Memory Bank
Cool.
well how about we start describing the first chapter. I think the first chapter should include the meeting of characters before the concert, and the concert itself. And after the concert is concluded, so should chapter one. And Chapter two will be the kidnapping. That way we don't just jump right in, and have time to flesh out characters better than our sheets can do.
well how about we start describing the first chapter. I think the first chapter should include the meeting of characters before the concert, and the concert itself. And after the concert is concluded, so should chapter one. And Chapter two will be the kidnapping. That way we don't just jump right in, and have time to flesh out characters better than our sheets can do.
Eternity- Corporeal Spirit
- Join date : 2009-05-25
Posts : 3144
Age : 32
Location : SoBo, VA
Re: ToxiCity: Memory Bank
I would like to open with the dream. The dream will hint at certain events to come that should be avoided. If we are to meet before the concert I think it should be rather brief as not to give Edward too much time to explain. The concert ends you have to be rushed off somewhere. The attempted abduction (second attempt?) Then the two should begin to unravel what had transpired.
I agree with fleshing out the characters. The sheets only serve as a starting point for me. I am sure things will be tweeked along the way.
I agree with fleshing out the characters. The sheets only serve as a starting point for me. I am sure things will be tweeked along the way.
Klikxx- Shadow
- Join date : 2009-06-30
Posts : 211
Location : between here and there
Re: ToxiCity: Memory Bank
ET p-h-o-n-e H-O-M-E
Just had to do that. Sorry.
Some added thoughts for the illustrious beginings.
If I start out with the dream sequence to foreshadow the events to come perhaps it would be in our best interest to have you start in the argument with your manager. He could be pusing the corporate deal on you one last time. After some thought I think we should continue with the idea of a stalker out there somewhere. It keeps options open.
The notes that Edward has sent warning you of your immenant danger have not made it to you. The seem to have been "misplaced by your manager. Screening your mail he stumbled upon the oragami note. It caught his attention and he read its contents.He could not allow you to be tipped off. He will link Edward to the note much later in our story.
Sorry. Bunney Trail. Back to you.
You should also incorporate the arguement with (I'll call him Wyatt for now) about protection. He of course is against it trying to push it off until later but gives in. "I'll look into it" he assures you.
Edward shows up to warn you what is about to happen. You think Wyatt hascome through and he your new body guard. "We'll talk more after the show" as you head onto stage.
We then take it to the performance.
Just had to do that. Sorry.
Some added thoughts for the illustrious beginings.
If I start out with the dream sequence to foreshadow the events to come perhaps it would be in our best interest to have you start in the argument with your manager. He could be pusing the corporate deal on you one last time. After some thought I think we should continue with the idea of a stalker out there somewhere. It keeps options open.
The notes that Edward has sent warning you of your immenant danger have not made it to you. The seem to have been "misplaced by your manager. Screening your mail he stumbled upon the oragami note. It caught his attention and he read its contents.He could not allow you to be tipped off. He will link Edward to the note much later in our story.
Sorry. Bunney Trail. Back to you.
You should also incorporate the arguement with (I'll call him Wyatt for now) about protection. He of course is against it trying to push it off until later but gives in. "I'll look into it" he assures you.
Edward shows up to warn you what is about to happen. You think Wyatt hascome through and he your new body guard. "We'll talk more after the show" as you head onto stage.
We then take it to the performance.
Klikxx- Shadow
- Join date : 2009-06-30
Posts : 211
Location : between here and there
Re: ToxiCity: Memory Bank
So after the kidnapping, let's talk that through. What's going to happen between our two characters? Where are they going? What will be the main aspects of chapters 3 and 4? Hm?
These are some thoughts I had. It might be nice to flesh out this too...
These are some thoughts I had. It might be nice to flesh out this too...
Eternity- Corporeal Spirit
- Join date : 2009-05-25
Posts : 3144
Age : 32
Location : SoBo, VA
Re: ToxiCity: Memory Bank
EDIT:
FIRST KIDNAPPING ATTEMPT FAILS< RIGHT??
Well one thing for certain Wyatt will want me out of your picture as quickly as possible.
The way I see it after your show and the botched abduction you are more than ready to unwind. The wild child that you are you want to go clubbing. The night if far to young for you to turn in. Edward has no choice but to tag along. Who knows what we may encounter while out.
You love to dance. Edward certainly doesn't. Is is right to drag a recovering alcoholic to the bar?
Your beautiful and popular and more than capable of drawing a crowd. Not a good concept to be occuring in Edward's eyes. You are after all in danger.
Just things that poped up on first read. I will give it some more thought and get back to you.
FIRST KIDNAPPING ATTEMPT FAILS< RIGHT??
Well one thing for certain Wyatt will want me out of your picture as quickly as possible.
The way I see it after your show and the botched abduction you are more than ready to unwind. The wild child that you are you want to go clubbing. The night if far to young for you to turn in. Edward has no choice but to tag along. Who knows what we may encounter while out.
You love to dance. Edward certainly doesn't. Is is right to drag a recovering alcoholic to the bar?
Your beautiful and popular and more than capable of drawing a crowd. Not a good concept to be occuring in Edward's eyes. You are after all in danger.
Just things that poped up on first read. I will give it some more thought and get back to you.
Klikxx- Shadow
- Join date : 2009-06-30
Posts : 211
Location : between here and there
Re: ToxiCity: Memory Bank
Maybe Chapter 3 could be like the first real conflict between the two.
Roxy represents a party lifestyle, and apart of her lifestyle is one that he has given up; drinking. Maybe she decides that she's going to go out and have fun, drown out her problems with alcohol and dancing. When Edward gets dragged into this, it can cause conflict because it'd be what he wants versus what she wants. Maybe he ends up using force to make her see things his way, removing her from the club like a bouncer if he must. Maybe, for once, she doesn't get what she wants.
In Chapter 3, which I think could basically take place from after the kidnapping to after the club, perhaps we should jump elsewhere, like a hotel. From there, perhaps arguing ensues. Maybe not. And the next day will be something new when she realizes that she's tons of missed calls and her manager's having a melt-down. Maybe during the fourth chapter, we could begin working on the conflict of manager versus Edward. Trying to get him fired; though being the rebellious idol Roxy is, she'll go against what her crazed manage fights for.
Either way. Just spouting ideas. You like?
Roxy represents a party lifestyle, and apart of her lifestyle is one that he has given up; drinking. Maybe she decides that she's going to go out and have fun, drown out her problems with alcohol and dancing. When Edward gets dragged into this, it can cause conflict because it'd be what he wants versus what she wants. Maybe he ends up using force to make her see things his way, removing her from the club like a bouncer if he must. Maybe, for once, she doesn't get what she wants.
In Chapter 3, which I think could basically take place from after the kidnapping to after the club, perhaps we should jump elsewhere, like a hotel. From there, perhaps arguing ensues. Maybe not. And the next day will be something new when she realizes that she's tons of missed calls and her manager's having a melt-down. Maybe during the fourth chapter, we could begin working on the conflict of manager versus Edward. Trying to get him fired; though being the rebellious idol Roxy is, she'll go against what her crazed manage fights for.
Either way. Just spouting ideas. You like?
Eternity- Corporeal Spirit
- Join date : 2009-05-25
Posts : 3144
Age : 32
Location : SoBo, VA
Re: ToxiCity: Memory Bank
I Like conflict.
Much along the lines I thought in the first place when I created the setting. We seem to be on a similar page. That is good. It is not so much of what Edward wants as to what he is afraid of. He had been down the same self destructive path and lost his wife, his job, his integrity (you get the picture) He is currently in a struggle not to lose all that again. He finds himself slipping into previous habits of destruction (drinking and pills) more frequently of the damn visions. Mostly about you as of late and somewhere amongst the animosity he feels for you he doesn’t want you to fall down the same spiral.
I would like nothing better than to knock the princess off her pedestal. I can see Edward carrying her out unceremoniously over his shoulder kicking and screaming. I can also see the hissy fit the prima Dona Roxy will throw when she finally is set free. Shattered glass and broken objects are the causalities while she vents her frustrations over the indignities of the evening’s events. I see the conversation as very one sided as he allows her to vent.
I also thought of the possibility of introducing the stalker at the club. It is a public place and he would be able to “watch” freely and somewhat anonymously. Maybe Edward catches a vision as he passes the stranger or during a brief encounter between the man and Roxy herself. I think I would prefer just the intro and save the meet for another time. Your thoughts on this?
You have already touched on the after the storm segment.
Perhaps even deep down you have come to notice that Edward understands you on some level.
I will begin to create the dream as it foreshadows what is to come and sets things into motion. Do you have a totally different look on stage or are the two looks quite similar? Makes a difference in the dream and would give you some autonomy off the stage if they differ greatly. Kind of like KISS in the 80’s. If the looks are different spectrums it allows them to pinpoint a timeline depending on what she is wearing. A description would help immensely.
Much along the lines I thought in the first place when I created the setting. We seem to be on a similar page. That is good. It is not so much of what Edward wants as to what he is afraid of. He had been down the same self destructive path and lost his wife, his job, his integrity (you get the picture) He is currently in a struggle not to lose all that again. He finds himself slipping into previous habits of destruction (drinking and pills) more frequently of the damn visions. Mostly about you as of late and somewhere amongst the animosity he feels for you he doesn’t want you to fall down the same spiral.
I would like nothing better than to knock the princess off her pedestal. I can see Edward carrying her out unceremoniously over his shoulder kicking and screaming. I can also see the hissy fit the prima Dona Roxy will throw when she finally is set free. Shattered glass and broken objects are the causalities while she vents her frustrations over the indignities of the evening’s events. I see the conversation as very one sided as he allows her to vent.
I also thought of the possibility of introducing the stalker at the club. It is a public place and he would be able to “watch” freely and somewhat anonymously. Maybe Edward catches a vision as he passes the stranger or during a brief encounter between the man and Roxy herself. I think I would prefer just the intro and save the meet for another time. Your thoughts on this?
You have already touched on the after the storm segment.
The next day will be something new when she realizes that she's tons of missed calls and her manager's having a melt-down. Maybe during the fourth chapter, we could begin working on the conflict of manager versus Edward. Trying to get him fired; though being the rebellious idol Roxy is, she'll go against what her crazed manage fights for.
Perhaps even deep down you have come to notice that Edward understands you on some level.
I will begin to create the dream as it foreshadows what is to come and sets things into motion. Do you have a totally different look on stage or are the two looks quite similar? Makes a difference in the dream and would give you some autonomy off the stage if they differ greatly. Kind of like KISS in the 80’s. If the looks are different spectrums it allows them to pinpoint a timeline depending on what she is wearing. A description would help immensely.
Klikxx- Shadow
- Join date : 2009-06-30
Posts : 211
Location : between here and there
Re: ToxiCity: Memory Bank
On stage, she dresses quite oddly. Bright and fitted, using the neo-cultural advantages like sex appeal and a unique sense of identity on stage. Off stage, I envision her a bit more normally. Simpler dress, somewhat casual yet holding opulence in her accessories and little fashions. She would, however, look a little different.
Eternity- Corporeal Spirit
- Join date : 2009-05-25
Posts : 3144
Age : 32
Location : SoBo, VA
Re: ToxiCity: Memory Bank
Also, the more we talk this over, the more excited about this I get. LOL
Eternity- Corporeal Spirit
- Join date : 2009-05-25
Posts : 3144
Age : 32
Location : SoBo, VA
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