Re: The Absurdity Game

[Inerio]

It's okay. I'll just sleep with the SWAT so they let me go. Yup, whoring around always works.

Rosie O' Donald has just proclaimed her love for you.

[Rendition]

Luckily, I forgot it was opposite day and I popped her in the face with a 9 iron.

You wake up and find your 9 year old daughter doing inappropriate things to the furniture, you have high profile business clients coming over in 30 minutes and you can't get her to stop.

[Kaito]

uh.. interesting. Luckily I know how to use a rope and a ballgag. Maybe she even likes it... :/


You are sitting in front of your delicious cake, realising that you're allergic against everything that's in there. What do you do?

[Gunneh]

If I die, at least I'll die happy. Now gimme that cake!

You wake up to find that a tornado has transported you, your house and your little yappy dog to the land of Oz. You walk outside and are greeted by a band of midgets on a sugar high that are ranting about you killing a witch.

[Kaito]

I put on my wizard cape and hat and move on.

You want to send an email and find out that the internet is full. What do you do?

[Kaislynn]

call ghost busters!

you have a burning desire to step in the shower with your hair dryer

[Inerio]

So I go into the shower with the hair dryer. The electric current gives me super powers, and I use that to finally kill that bastard Chuck Norris. Yeah, you heard me. I killed him.

You wake up, naked, in the middle of a very crowded mall. If that isn't bad enough, there's an army of ninjas after you.

[Loki]

I become world renown for single handedly defeating an army of ninjas completely naked. Then move on to conquer Japan single handedly, again in the buff, just to prove my point.

Upon waking up after a long night of partying (with subsequent blacking out) you are hung-over, completely naked with nothing but a party hat on your head, and half a liter of Jack. Oh yeah, you also find yourself drifting alone in a life raft in the middle of the ocean with nothing but miles of water all around you.

[Kaito]

Luckily, I've seen enough episodes of macgyver, so I use the party hat, the jack, some pubic hair and a nearby fish to create a signal rocket, which I fire into the sky and a nearby search and rescue helicopter will pick me up. Lucky as I am, there are only women in the chopper (some of which attended the same party as I...) and so I have a fun flight back.

You wake up to the sound of your alarm clock and find that you need to go to work. What do you do? D:

[Inerio]

I hit the snooze button and go back to sleep. While I'm sleeping a bomb goes off in the building and everybody dies. Good thing I didn't go to work.

You find yourself on an island which a bunch of natives who think that cooking you into a stew and eating you is a damn good idea. How do you handle the situation?

[Loki]

I use the magical spell that is cellphone ringer which causes them to bow under my power and worship me as a god of technology. I then teach them how to build a giant solar powered microwave oven to cook the next person that comes along.

You are that next person.

[Inerio]

Well, I'd fly away on my helicopter, duh. And, you can't come with me.

You're stuck in a room with no windows or doors. All you have is a table and a mirror. How do you get out? (Believe it or not, there is an actual answer to this. If you get the actual answer, I will love you forever)

[Dio the Awesome]

I know it, so I won't ruin it for other people.

Clearly, the room is an invention made by the capitalist pigs designed to enslave and chain the proletariat. The quickest way to get out of the room, is to first topple the government through violent revolution. Only then can the walls be taken down under the peoples control and direction.

Then a few years later, we rebuild the walls, and put someone else inside of them. That'll show 'em.

---

You're a resident is a 9 story complex. The floor below you is being eaten by hungry techno-dog-giants. What do you do?

[Inerio]

I fly out on my helicopter, duh. . . XD Wow, this is going to be come my default answer!

Micheal Jackson's soul has found it's way to your house and possessed your toilet. What do you do?

[Loki]

Sell it on ebay and become a multi-millionaire overnight.

You wake up one morning and realize your gender has changed.

[Dio the Awesome]

I fap.

*fapfapfapfap*

---

You're CD collection has waged war of you DVD's.

[Inerio]

Well, that wouldn't happen seeing as all I have are MP3s and my DVDs have been kept in a cage due to bad behavior.

A vaudevillian antagonist has tied you to the train tracks and, lucky you, there's a train coming. What course of action do you take?

[Dio the Awesome]

Scream like a woman (which I can, due to the gender bending I just went through) until a handsome protagonist saves me just in the nick of time.

---

God has perma-banned you from the internet.

[Gunneh]

I make a deal with the devil OR switch to AOL. After all, they're nealy the same thing.

The floor is lava! What do you dooooooo??

[Dio the Awesome]

Since I'm in my chair, I take the few precious seconds of time that I have to jump and grab onto the ceiling fan. From there I spin at an incredible velocity, and release at just the right moment to propel myself through a window, and away to safety.

---

You're in a dark dank dungeon. The fortifications have been abandoned years ago, but evil creatures now lurk these halls. There are rumors of a vast treasure somewhere within these walls. What do you do?

[Loki]

Assemble a team including a rogue, cleric, monk, fighter, and mage while I don my full plate and adventure deep into the ruins.

The world is quickly falling to a zombie apocalypse while society falls into complete anarchy.

[Gadreille]

Turn the local Dreyer's factory into a giant fortress and hoard weapons and food while playing the "how many have you killed?" game.

A giant earthquake splits your home in half and little demons crawl out of the crevice.

[Inerio]

I'd sew their mouths shut, dress in them in the outfits I've sewn and force them to partake in Victorian style tea parties where we would discuss petty gossip and laugh arrogantly. . . Well, I would considering they can't laugh anymore.

Remember that monster under the bed? Well, he's real. What do you plan on doing about this?

[Sky Harper]

Invite him out from under the bed, and submit his entry to Extreme Makeover.


Omg, I can't believe that your identical twin just went all nutters on a room full of nuns, and then blamed it on you! What are you going to do when you're confronted at Church tomorrow?

[Chimerical]

Track down my twin, tie them up, and drag them back to the Church to prove myself innocent.

------------

You were outside walking around when a mage, warrior, archer, and ninja ambush you. They say you're the last boss in their adventure. What do you do?

[Kaito]

kick their asses, durr.
If they're not a 40 man party, they can't possibly think they can win.

You just found out that your stepmother is coming for a visit and will arrive shortly. You realize that the swinger party in your flat will not be over too soon. To make it all the worse, you're tied up. Naked. And while the general folks attending the party are having their fun with you, you wonder why there is a bomb lying on your couch, ticking. What do you do?

[Chimerical]

Turn into slime, slither out, and turn everyone in the room into nothingness. Then turn more humanoid, get dressed, and clean everything up with the speed of a tornado. 'Cause I'm just that good.

You're falling off a cliff that your 'buddy' just pushed you off. What do you do?

[UnfortunateBountyHunter]

Luckily, you have a radio transmitter with several buttons. you hit the "call for ride" button and a huge helicopter rises up out of nowhere! Grinning, you hit the "Guns,guns,guns" button


You are playing at a rock concert when your Guitar Peripheral explodes! Oh Noes!
What do you do?

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