Kalon/Lamenting Quill

[Kalon Ordona II]

This'll be our OOC for The Fairy and the Elf. ^^

[Kalon Ordona II]

Be mindful of punctuation, my about-the-same-age padawan!
(Corrections in red, suggestions in green.) ^^

A bright blush stained her cheeks as he bowed before her, commenting on her fair visage.
"Yes," Celebrinel replied with a trusting smile, "I will bring you and your company to the city. I pray you can save my people from those awful monsters."
As the sound of hooves stomping rapidly upon the ground became louder, Celebrinel turned to face the direction of the sound of approaching horses. "Your company, that must be them."

Her heart pounded frantically in her chest, she was so frightened for her father and mother. If they perished, her heart would surely break.
So many emotions and feelings coursed through her all at once: worry for her people and parents, fear of the horrible orcs, yearning for the her elven rescuer.
Prince Lanthir.... High prince of the elves.... Her father would be furious with her if she professed love for this elf....
One question floated in her mind.... Could she honestly ignore such powerful yearning due to parental dismay? No. She knew she couldn't.

"You are about to make such risks for us," Celebrinel murmured gratefully as she turned to face Lanthir. "Your heart is brave and true. I thank you from the very depths of my soul."
She fought yet another blush as the idea came to mind to thank him with a kiss, but her royal sensibilities forced the urge back. She did not wish him to believe she had loose favors.

[Lamenting_Quill]

Be mindful of punctuation, my about-the-same-age padawan!
(Corrections in red, suggestions in green.) ^^

A bright blush stained her cheeks as he bowed before her, commenting on her fair visage.
"Yes," Celebrinel replied with a trusting smile, "I will bring you and your company to the city. I pray you can save my people from those awful monsters."
As the sound of hooves stomping rapidly upon the ground became louder, Celebrinel turned to face the direction of the sound of approaching horses. "Your company, that must be them."

Her heart pounded frantically in her chest, she was so frightened for her father and mother. If they perished, her heart would surely break.
So many emotions and feelings coursed through her all at once: worry for her people and parents, fear of the horrible orcs, yearning for the her elven rescuer.
Prince Lanthir.... High prince of the elves.... Her father would be furious with her if she professed love for this elf....
One question floated in her mind.... Could she honestly ignore such powerful yearning due to parental dismay? No. She knew she couldn't.

"You are about to make such risks for us," Celebrinel murmured gratefully as she turned to face Lanthir. "Your heart is brave and true. I thank you from the very depths of my soul."
She fought yet another blush as the idea came to mind to thank him with a kiss, but her royal sensibilities forced the urge back. She did not wish him to believe she had loose favors.

Opps. I'll be more careful. *blush*

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