Rate My Caligoan!
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Rate My Caligoan!
by Weiss Tue Feb 16, 2010 9:10 am
Call it a selfish desire to know what people think of my newly redefined Caligo profile, but I had the idea to make this thread, where users can rate one another's Caligo characters. This basically has the same idea behind it as sig/avy set rating threads, but it obviously requires more reading and thought.
Rules:
1) You must actually read the profile of the person whose profile you are supposed to be rating.
2) If two people submit a rating for the same person (near-simultaneous posting), the next poster should rate the person who submitted their rating first.
3) You may not post more than once per day. I don't want this to become another spam topic where the most common response is, "I've already rated yours, so you get a X/XX again." The exception to this is if you were a near-simultaneous poster who was not rated because of rule two.
4) If you're not posting to rate someone and to receive a rating, don't post. It's unfair to the person who posted before you. Keep off-topic conversation out of this thread.
Suggestions:
1) If you update your Caligo profile, make a note of it when posting. It would also help to note the sections that have been updated. That way, the person doing the rating will know where to look for the changes, or if they should look for changes at all.
2) Try to give helpful ratings. Instead of just saying X/XX, give them some advice on what you think could improve their profile. This doesn't mean pick apart their spelling or grammar (unless they note that they'd like for that to be done), but point out inconsistencies in their character's personality/background or areas that might benefit from improvement.
So, with that out of the way, let the topic begin! I apologize to the first person to rate me, since I have over 5000 words worth in my Caligo Profile. Let that be a warning!
Rules:
1) You must actually read the profile of the person whose profile you are supposed to be rating.
2) If two people submit a rating for the same person (near-simultaneous posting), the next poster should rate the person who submitted their rating first.
3) You may not post more than once per day. I don't want this to become another spam topic where the most common response is, "I've already rated yours, so you get a X/XX again." The exception to this is if you were a near-simultaneous poster who was not rated because of rule two.
4) If you're not posting to rate someone and to receive a rating, don't post. It's unfair to the person who posted before you. Keep off-topic conversation out of this thread.
Suggestions:
1) If you update your Caligo profile, make a note of it when posting. It would also help to note the sections that have been updated. That way, the person doing the rating will know where to look for the changes, or if they should look for changes at all.
2) Try to give helpful ratings. Instead of just saying X/XX, give them some advice on what you think could improve their profile. This doesn't mean pick apart their spelling or grammar (unless they note that they'd like for that to be done), but point out inconsistencies in their character's personality/background or areas that might benefit from improvement.
So, with that out of the way, let the topic begin! I apologize to the first person to rate me, since I have over 5000 words worth in my Caligo Profile. Let that be a warning!
Weiss- Poltergeist
- Join date : 2009-08-02
Posts : 798
Age : 38
Location : Delaware, United States
Re: Rate My Caligoan!
by Bird of Hermes Tue Feb 16, 2010 6:41 pm
Rating: 9.5/10
Reason: Your description was absolutely spectacular. I was given a perfect image of your character. With your words I could literally paint a picture of your character. The personality felt very flat and predictable at the start. It felt like the standard bitter hero turned bitter character until the part about his "two distinct personalities". His relationship with his Shade is what "sold" me on your character's attitude. It created a dynamic for him that was different for his character type. The family section finally gave me a peek at where he came from, as your age revealed nothing of his possible past. The friends, like and dislike sections fit well with your character's personality. As for your weapon, all I can say is that I want one! It sounds so awesome. Awesome is the word for it, kick-ass awesome. I hope to see it in action as it has good role-playing potential. The Shade ability really starts to make sense once one reads on and understands the context. The Shade and character biography is what truly shaped your profile. While the "bitter hero turned crazed baddie" has been done before, your biography gives me hope that you will do the role more than justice. Dais's relationship with Halo could really take your character far.
Questions: It seemed to be only implied in your biography... Was Asmodeus killed and then raised by some force in battle, was he affected by his Shade's Impulse and was he, or his Shade, the one to kill the princess?
I must apologize that I do not have much of anything in my Caligo Profile. I have been slacking lately and have not finished it. When I do, I will have you look at it. Perhaps this will be the kick in the rear that I need to get it done.
Reason: Your description was absolutely spectacular. I was given a perfect image of your character. With your words I could literally paint a picture of your character. The personality felt very flat and predictable at the start. It felt like the standard bitter hero turned bitter character until the part about his "two distinct personalities". His relationship with his Shade is what "sold" me on your character's attitude. It created a dynamic for him that was different for his character type. The family section finally gave me a peek at where he came from, as your age revealed nothing of his possible past. The friends, like and dislike sections fit well with your character's personality. As for your weapon, all I can say is that I want one! It sounds so awesome. Awesome is the word for it, kick-ass awesome. I hope to see it in action as it has good role-playing potential. The Shade ability really starts to make sense once one reads on and understands the context. The Shade and character biography is what truly shaped your profile. While the "bitter hero turned crazed baddie" has been done before, your biography gives me hope that you will do the role more than justice. Dais's relationship with Halo could really take your character far.
Questions: It seemed to be only implied in your biography... Was Asmodeus killed and then raised by some force in battle, was he affected by his Shade's Impulse and was he, or his Shade, the one to kill the princess?
I must apologize that I do not have much of anything in my Caligo Profile. I have been slacking lately and have not finished it. When I do, I will have you look at it. Perhaps this will be the kick in the rear that I need to get it done.
Bird of Hermes- Wraith
- Join date : 2009-10-26
Posts : 2279
Age : 34
Location : The Land of Make Believe
Re: Rate My Caligoan!
by Guest Tue Feb 16, 2010 9:34 pm
Not having anything to rate kind of puts a halt on the whole thing...so I'm going to just rate Weiss' profile.
I will write up a response as I read each section, so that you get my first reaction as I read through it.
Appearance: I like the descriptions you use here. It could be said that the wording is a bit too flowery...but I really think it works. You don't waste words, so it doesn't detract from the overall explanation. And I have a good imagine in my mind of what he looks like.
Personality Traits: From this point, it seems as if some drastic event turned what could once have been an important and loved person into a demon. Unlike Arutheus' preference for villains with no purpose or forethought, I find this rather intriguing. The great descriptions enable me to get a good feel for the depth of his depravity, and I love that you also mentioned how those things affect his shade as well.
Family: It is interesting what you have done here. For a character like yours, it is easier to forsake the world, or even hate the world, if there is nothing to hold on to. Without any form of family to turn to, Dais is left with little love to pull him back. It seems that by forsaking any semblence of family ties, he managed to dig his own hole. Or at least start it.
Friends and Enemies: This seems more of a continuation from above. He has already forsaken his family, so forsaking everyone else isn't any more daunting a task. Though as of now I'm left wondering whether this detachment from family and society came before or after whatever drastic event changed his life.
Likes: Nothing is pretty explanatory, though I think you could further the understanding of the character by listing those things he does like. And he does like things, according to his personality traits. He likes retelling stories of his exploits, it seems, because he can relive them in his memory, relive the experience of killing/torturing/destroying. You don't have to, of course, but it seems that "nothing" doesn't really explain the character very well. Everyone likes something, even if it is their attempt to destroy everything around them. Even if they don't technically "like" doing that, I would argue that they do "like" the idea of that world not existing, for one reason or another.
Sorry if that came out confusing...I just think something could be added here to bring out his insanity and sadistic nature.
Dislikes: Unlike "Likes," I think this description fits well enough. It may be wishy-washy on my part...but even some sort of description on the nature of liking would fit as well.
Weapons: Definitely cool. I love the weapon idea. I don't really know what else to say about it... Except I want one. A real one.
I feel it fits your character perfectly in that he has no preferences, no likes or dislikes with anything including weaponry. He would fight with whatever technique fit best in any particular scenario.
Equipment: The equipment Dais uses, and their capabilities, are really quite powerful. But they are also extremely weak in the wrong situation. So while you have what some would consider an extremely powerful character, he is certainly not invincible. His attackers would be forced to adapt their strategies to deal with him, yet it seems he would be less able to deal with different scenarios, being so used to, and in control of, his magnetic equipment. I don't know whether to say I do or do not like it, but it seems well thought out, and quite interesting
Vehicles: Very fitting, concering his relationship with Halo.
Shade ability: I don't really think this fits very well with Dais' personality. Dais would pick and choose his encounters, not hating or liking but going with what comes his way or presents itself as an opportunity (at least from my understanding so far). So a blind rage, as Impulse seems to be, seems...out of character for Dais' shade. Maybe it is just that I see it differently than you, which is fine. It just doesn't quite fit. I can't every imagine Dais fighting in such a way.
Shade Biography: This brings me a little closer to understanding Halo's power and why it seems so off to me. It seems that it is born more from Dais previous emotional and mental state, his desires at the time, rather than his current personality, which is what I had mistakenly based it on. Very intriguing. I like how you don't just spill it out all at once!
Character Biography: I really like how it all comes together here. You've perfectly explained my question about the power itself, why he has become the person he is, and his relationship with his shade. I really like how it was written like a story, not just at the end but the whole way through. Great job with that. Makes me want to rewrite mine...
Score: 9.9/10
My only problem with the whole things is your "Likes" section. As I stated there, I think there should be something there besides "nothing." It just doesn't do your character justice. I believe that even more strongly now that I have read it all the way through.
I also find it difficult for that event to turn him into the man he has become, but I think that is just my own personal views on character development. I wouldn't say your way doesn't work. I would love to interact with your character in a role-play! I think your character is a path my own might have gone down, if it weren't for the resolve of his own shade.
I will write up a response as I read each section, so that you get my first reaction as I read through it.
Appearance: I like the descriptions you use here. It could be said that the wording is a bit too flowery...but I really think it works. You don't waste words, so it doesn't detract from the overall explanation. And I have a good imagine in my mind of what he looks like.
Personality Traits: From this point, it seems as if some drastic event turned what could once have been an important and loved person into a demon. Unlike Arutheus' preference for villains with no purpose or forethought, I find this rather intriguing. The great descriptions enable me to get a good feel for the depth of his depravity, and I love that you also mentioned how those things affect his shade as well.
Family: It is interesting what you have done here. For a character like yours, it is easier to forsake the world, or even hate the world, if there is nothing to hold on to. Without any form of family to turn to, Dais is left with little love to pull him back. It seems that by forsaking any semblence of family ties, he managed to dig his own hole. Or at least start it.
Friends and Enemies: This seems more of a continuation from above. He has already forsaken his family, so forsaking everyone else isn't any more daunting a task. Though as of now I'm left wondering whether this detachment from family and society came before or after whatever drastic event changed his life.
Likes: Nothing is pretty explanatory, though I think you could further the understanding of the character by listing those things he does like. And he does like things, according to his personality traits. He likes retelling stories of his exploits, it seems, because he can relive them in his memory, relive the experience of killing/torturing/destroying. You don't have to, of course, but it seems that "nothing" doesn't really explain the character very well. Everyone likes something, even if it is their attempt to destroy everything around them. Even if they don't technically "like" doing that, I would argue that they do "like" the idea of that world not existing, for one reason or another.
Sorry if that came out confusing...I just think something could be added here to bring out his insanity and sadistic nature.
Dislikes: Unlike "Likes," I think this description fits well enough. It may be wishy-washy on my part...but even some sort of description on the nature of liking would fit as well.
Weapons: Definitely cool. I love the weapon idea. I don't really know what else to say about it... Except I want one. A real one.
I feel it fits your character perfectly in that he has no preferences, no likes or dislikes with anything including weaponry. He would fight with whatever technique fit best in any particular scenario.
Equipment: The equipment Dais uses, and their capabilities, are really quite powerful. But they are also extremely weak in the wrong situation. So while you have what some would consider an extremely powerful character, he is certainly not invincible. His attackers would be forced to adapt their strategies to deal with him, yet it seems he would be less able to deal with different scenarios, being so used to, and in control of, his magnetic equipment. I don't know whether to say I do or do not like it, but it seems well thought out, and quite interesting
Vehicles: Very fitting, concering his relationship with Halo.
Shade ability: I don't really think this fits very well with Dais' personality. Dais would pick and choose his encounters, not hating or liking but going with what comes his way or presents itself as an opportunity (at least from my understanding so far). So a blind rage, as Impulse seems to be, seems...out of character for Dais' shade. Maybe it is just that I see it differently than you, which is fine. It just doesn't quite fit. I can't every imagine Dais fighting in such a way.
Shade Biography: This brings me a little closer to understanding Halo's power and why it seems so off to me. It seems that it is born more from Dais previous emotional and mental state, his desires at the time, rather than his current personality, which is what I had mistakenly based it on. Very intriguing. I like how you don't just spill it out all at once!
Character Biography: I really like how it all comes together here. You've perfectly explained my question about the power itself, why he has become the person he is, and his relationship with his shade. I really like how it was written like a story, not just at the end but the whole way through. Great job with that. Makes me want to rewrite mine...
Score: 9.9/10
My only problem with the whole things is your "Likes" section. As I stated there, I think there should be something there besides "nothing." It just doesn't do your character justice. I believe that even more strongly now that I have read it all the way through.
I also find it difficult for that event to turn him into the man he has become, but I think that is just my own personal views on character development. I wouldn't say your way doesn't work. I would love to interact with your character in a role-play! I think your character is a path my own might have gone down, if it weren't for the resolve of his own shade.
Guest- Guest
Re: Rate My Caligoan!
by Weiss Thu Feb 18, 2010 9:18 am
Thanks for the rating and the helpful commentary, Hermes and Silvone.
Since I think the style of reading each section and responding to them one at a time makes for an accurate review (as most readers will start at the top and gradually work their way down), I will use that method as well.
Note: This post ended up being massive. Just so everyone knows, I don’t expect anyone to include this much when doing the ratings. A small post saying that you think it’s good/bad and why will suffice. I just happened to get absorbed in the process of trying to match the effort invested by Silvone’s rating of my character.
Consequently, this post will use spoiler tags to reduce its visible size.
Character Details
(image, name, etc.)
While the organization of the character sheet was a bit poor, the character is pretty solid. There are some areas that could use refinement, such as the mentioned details about his weaponry, and I wouldn’t mind seeing some more entries in the Likes and Dislikes fields that are more about trivial preferences, but he certainly has a lot of RP potential.
Since I think the style of reading each section and responding to them one at a time makes for an accurate review (as most readers will start at the top and gradually work their way down), I will use that method as well.
Note: This post ended up being massive. Just so everyone knows, I don’t expect anyone to include this much when doing the ratings. A small post saying that you think it’s good/bad and why will suffice. I just happened to get absorbed in the process of trying to match the effort invested by Silvone’s rating of my character.
Consequently, this post will use spoiler tags to reduce its visible size.
Character Details
(image, name, etc.)
- Spoiler:
The character image chosen certainly fills in a lot of details about the character. While I’m certain there is much to learn about him aside from what he looks like, it potentially creates a very solid foundation to which his other features can be related. He appears quite militaristic, someone with a stern personality who won’t be pushed around. At the same time, he doesn’t strike me as the type who would immediately resort to violence. While well-armed and quite stoic in expression, it seems more like he’s protecting, rather than attacking. For what a picture can accomplish, you’ve chosen well.
Imstad Yalvua. I can’t say that I have any idea where that name comes from. At the moment, I’m assuming he’s a native Caligoan, which means that the naming doesn’t signify a particular heritage. Still, it’s a very unique name that reaches outside the boundaries of conventional “Americanized” characters and gives me the impression that he will be unique henceforth, as well.
His choice of age was interesting. The perspective of being one year from a full millennium lived could be an interesting one. Many people look upon a century as being the greatest milestone that humans can achieve. To have lived one-hundred years, a full century, is an incredible thing. When we reach such a milestone, we tend to look back on our journey that far. What have we seen? What have we experienced? The fact that you chose for him to be nearing such an enormous milestone makes me wonder if he will be a character caught in such contemplation, reflecting on his life. Perhaps he’s the brooding type, who wishes he could go back and change things. Perhaps he’s the type who is content with his decisions in life and has a stern resolve to continue living. Even something so significant amongst a full profile of information can bear great significance.
Being 160 lbs in full gear doesn’t strike me as anything bulky. With his musculature, I could see him weighing nearly 200 lbs easily while wearing such a complex combat suit, no doubt littered with weaponry and possibly ammunition. Muscle weighs more than fat; an important thing to remember when creating a character that boasts physical strength as a primary asset.
- Spoiler:
You took an interesting route here, but one that I find infinitely more intriguing than the alternative. A person who is morally strong is constantly faced with decisions that threaten to alter their perspective. It’s easy to get fed up with trying to be the light in a dark place, and with your character’s family apparently being the type who use corrupt means to their advantage, it would be easy for him to fall into that mold and do the same. However, he retains a sense of justice, even if it’s harder to pursue his goals because of that.
This section also gives the first insight into what he’s trying to accomplish in Caligo. While the delivery of the information was a bit abrupt and lacking context, it does set the foundation for later information. We now know that your character is someone who is morally intact, has a strong sense of justice, consequently doesn’t use foul play to achieve his goals, but is also willing to make hard decisions and stifle his emotions if it means moving closer to that goal.
It’s stated that he hasn’t made any enemies in the course of his travels because of his strong sense of what is fair. I find that to be a bit odd for a couple of reasons. Enemies are not likely to be made when you’re a bad person attacking a good person. After all, the odds are that you’ll either crush them completely or they’ll be unable to retaliate at all, meaning they can’t truly be considered enemies so much as casualties. Furthermore, a good person might also be prone to forgiveness, which prevents the creation of enemies.
Your person, with his sense of fairness and moral strength, is all the more likely to make enemies. Enemies are made when you stand in the way of another person’s goals. They’re made when you oppose someone who is confident in their own power. They’re made when you hold the line of righteousness against the encroaching cloud of corruption. When you are that beacon of light and justice, enemies will fall upon you en masse, hoping to crush that light and pave the way for their malignant seed to take root.
So, rather than having no enemies because of his sense of justice and righteousness, I should think he’d have made numerous enemies while pursuing an honorable path. His own family might even be considered an enemy if he stands against their corrupt methods in favor of what is right.
I also think a lot of this information should have been placed in the Family and Friends & Enemies sections, rather than the Personality one. I realize, though, that it’s hard to keep such details confined to their own box when they are often deeply rooted and linked with your character’s personality and other attributes.
- Spoiler:
The ability to retain a family is one of the defining features of Caligo, in my opinion. For a lot of characters, it can provide a strong motivation to do a number of things. While many characters do not need things like family to give their character motivation or to help establish the reason behind their methods and personality, it can definitely work to one’s advantage to have such things available. The fact that your character has lost members of his family to his own hands, as well as the hands of his father, creates a vast sea of potential that could take him in many different directions. He could become vengeful, seeking retribution on his father if said person is still alive, or he could be blaming himself for the death of his brother, wondering if he could have tried harder.
While this section contains information that leads to a great deal of potential, I feel that it’s rather disjointed from the previous section. His personality is stated to be unlike the rest of his family, who use immoral means to get what they want. Is this to say that he no longer keeps tabs on his family, but that they used to employ such methods, or is it referring to the rest of his family, outside of his mother, father and siblings? It’s somewhat confusing.
Including the names of his family would certainly provide a bit more depth. I also think it would be good to include not only the names, but to expand upon the story of his family as a whole. For instance, this might be a good place to explain what came between them, even if only vaguely. I’m assuming such details will be included in his biography, but lightly touching upon them in advance will not only build anticipation, but also bolster the strength and depth of your character. By stating that his father killed his sister and that he killed his brother, you’ve presented events that could have a thousand details behind them. However, if such details are completely neglected until the biography, readers of the profile might lose that immediate curiosity that flares up when something unknown appears. On the other hand, if you tease them with a vague overview of how those things happened, all of which would be completely appropriate for the family section as it describes how and why his current relationships were created, they’ll be brimming with curiosity and anxious to find out more.
In other words, I’d treat the Family section as a Family History section. I figure it’s not just there to give the names of his family members and his relationship with them, but also to detail their current significance in your character’s life and why.
- Spoiler:
I can certainly see your character being the introvert, keeping to himself and preventing anyone from getting too close. He seems like someone who is working only to reach his own goals, only keeping the company of others when it is in his best interest. Such a callous disposition would certainly prevent him from making friends. On the other hand, the fact that he travels with companions makes me wonder about them. Even if they aren’t friends, he’s in their company, so surely he has opinions of them. What are those opinions? How does he regard them? Or is it that he constantly travels with new people, leaving him no time to truly develop a significant opinion of one person or another?
My opinions on having enemies are as I stated in the personality section, but I suppose you’ve illuminated some of the reasoning why here. Before, knowing that he was someone of morals with a strong sense of justice, it seemed obvious that he would encounter people who would regard him with hatred and make enemies of themselves. Furthermore, being on a quest to uncover the machine that was long ago buried on the island of Caligo, it seems inevitable to come across hardships that might lead to enemies being made. With a personality like his, though, he may simply not consider such people enemies, so much as mere obstacles that have been, or need to be, overcome. All the same, it would be nice to see something more here.
- Spoiler:
It’s a fairly focused approach you’ve taken to the Likes section. Generally speaking, I would have expected something detailing even the trivial details of what he likes, such as a favorite type of weather, a particular spot on Caligo, an activity that he’s fond of. While the things you’ve detailed weren’t at all bad choices, I think more could have been included.
What you have stated certainly helps with the character development, though. From the image we’ve gotten of Imstad so far, a fondness for weaponry is right up his alley. The fact that he would enjoy companionship also creates some emotional depth. The dilemma of wanting closeness while being deathly afraid of loss is something that many people can relate to, and we can all imagine. When asking yourself whether it’s worse to lose the one you love, or to lose the ability to love, it’s impossible to arrive at a correct answer. Having his shade suffer from this dilemma adds yet another angle to the issue, but also serves as a gateway to drag him out of his solitude, using his shade as a foothold to step closer to the man.
The dislikes section follows the same template. It’s very focused, instead of generally listing things a person might dislike, such as loud noises or heavy traffic. Once again, it isn’t a bad idea to have such strong character influences stemming from his likes and dislikes, but it would also be nice to know the smaller things, such as my examples. Even the tiniest of likes and dislikes help define a character. For instance, disliking cats might completely alter the way a Imstad reacts to another character who, say, is wearing a shirt with a cat on it. It could even be the very reason they end up engaged in conversation, with Imstad having cringed or leered at the shirt and provoked a reaction from the wearer.
As for what you do have, though, it’s once again an augment to the gravity of your character’s life. He’s afraid of his family, and the idea that they’re still alive is certainly something to be disliked.
At first, I was tempted to say that reiterating on his view toward relationships was redundant, but I suppose it could be said that liking company does not mean disliking solitude. After all, a person can enjoy company and still enjoy his time alone. So, to say that he enjoys company and then to further augment that feeling by highlighting his dislike for solitude creates a firm understanding that he truly does want to be around other people. This also adds to the gravity of his situation, where he’s afraid to allow himself the company of others.
- Spoiler:
Not a particularly significant field, but I’ll give it commentary because the information you provided could be used as a plot device. After all, having a job leads to a lot of interaction, right? The fact that he’s a weapon designer has been touched upon before, and it has a lot of potential. After all, this grants him the label of “mechanic”, and that itself could lead to a slew of character interactions. After all, many people need their weapons fixed or want them upgraded, so it wouldn’t be surprised if your character became the Cid of Caligo.
Being a previous employer of a large company also has a lot of potential. There could be numerous reasons why this comes into play. He could have acquaintances and informants that he gained while working there, or his past or ideals could be largely influenced by things that he discovered as an employee. In the end, even these types of details can be used to form the foundation of a storyline, and using a company allows other characters to find ways of working themselves into it. Just one instance of potential character interaction could be if your character met up with Dais and, upon being shown the weapon that Dais is using, recognize it as a custom weapons order he had personally received. Dais would likely not have been the original owner of the weapon, and that could branch in a number of directions.
Even something insignificant can be made significant. In fact, the more insignificant the reason for something occurring, the more believable it becomes. This is a technique often used in literature, where the ripple that started the tsunami is so insignificant that readers will be wowed by the absolute simplicity of it when the realization is reached.
- Spoiler:
There’s a lot of power here, some of which stems from a vague description. The fact that he’s so focused on long-range combat could be considered his primary weakness. After all, in melee combat he wouldn’t be able to use weapons that retain an area of effect, such as the exploding Uranium shells of the MAG Rifle. This is good. With so much power at his disposal, to be so focused on a single range of combat provides a fatal weakness that could be exploited. Sacrificing defense for more powerful is a common method of balance, and it works.
I mentioned a vague description before. What I mean is that some potential useful details are missing that could make the weapons either immensely more powerful or more reasonably so. The uranium shells, for instance, are able to explode on impact. The question is how large the explosion would be. An explosion that encompasses a ten-yard dome could be avoided. An explosion that could vaporize a football field most likely cannot. The radius of the explosion isn’t the only thing. How much damage would the explosion caused? Would it literally vaporize a person on contact, or would they take varying degrees of damage based on their proximity to the blast?
The question of coverage could be asked of the AF-44’s bullets, as well. They spread, if I understand this correctly, much the way a shotgun shell ejects pellets. So, what range do they cover, and how many shards can one expect from a single shot? After all, more shards mean smaller single-impact damage, while larger shards mean a higher chance of evasion. Vice versa, larger shards would do more single-impact damage, whereas smaller shards would be difficult to evade. There are other variables, as well, such as inertia based on the mass of the shards, but getting into ballistics over a fantasy RP seems a bit too inane even for me.
- Spoiler:
He’s got some pretty cool toys. I like that you pretty well kept to him having a weakness in close combat. His suit projects him from most energy and projectile attacks, but being thin and light leaves him vulnerable, I would presume, to the heavy strikes of a melee weapon, or even the massive impact of a mid-range assault.
I am kind of curious about the augmentations to his eyes. While it’s one thing to be a technical genius, it’s another to be a medical professional. The idea of augmenting his eyes without the support of a full medical staff seems a bit out there, and having such a medical staff on hand without the project being halted by Carbide Industries strikes me as odd. I would also say as much about the placing of computer chips into the brain.
I’m not saying that kind of technology shouldn’t exist, but I would think that, if it exists at all, that means Caligo is at a technological level where such things are available, in some form or another, to people who can afford it. In other words, having a chip implanted in your brain to control certain facets of your daily life could be something that the wealthy regularly invest in. Instead of having the technology itself be restricted to your character due to his research at Carbide Industries, it might be less quirky to say that he simply enhanced his personal upgrades beyond the standard implementation. For instance, the augmentation to his right eye could be a militarized version of a surgically bonded contact lens that was intended to correct bad vision. In that context, the zoom function would already have existed as a method of universalizing the contacts, and he would simply have needed to alter it slightly and add the other existing features.
Since Caligo is leagues ahead of our world in technology, these kinds of things are entirely possible. However, it’s for that very reason that making them seem uniquely restricted to your character takes away from the credibility. As a weapons designer, tweaking a particular weapon to perform an additional function or to combine the functions of two weapons into one makes sense, but to have access to a veritable arsenal of things that no one else has even seen lacks realism, even in a fantasy setting.
The grenade is a pretty cool idea, though I’d actually say it’s rather low-tech considering the rest of his equipment. I’d think he would have some kind of “bug” that he could place near a doorway and remotely control it to enter a room and perform all of the functions you’ve stated for your grenade and more. For instance, such a bug might have a miniature camera with a lens the size of a button that sends a direct video feed to the corner of Imstad’s eye that he can maximize or minimize using the control chips. That kind of surveillance device would also allow him to receive fully detailed maps of a room, down to real-time enemy locations, and wouldn’t require him throwing in a grenade to let enemies know that he’s there.
- Spoiler:
The image doesn’t work, so I don’t get the visual that might have helped me get a feel for what the vehicle is like, but it’s quite vague in text. You mainly detail the weaponry while leaving the actual schematics of the vehicle itself up in the air. When I read through the weapons, I get the feeling it might be a mobile suit or mecha, whereas calling it a hovercraft gives me the impression that it’s simply a normal vehicle.
In the end, I have a great understanding of how well the Hydra could blast my ass into next year, but I don’t know how cool it would look while doing it.
I’m also curious about the thing’s power supplies. For it to boast that much weaponry and functionality, I’d image the power supply would be fairly limited. Even if the power is derived from a self-sustaining generator – a reactor of some sort – it would probably need time to replenish itself after a certain amount of runtime. After all, hovering a vehicle that weighs thousands of pounds is no easy task.
To put it simply, I wouldn’t mind seeing some kind of explanation of how it runs, as well as something that balances out its massive power, even if the balance is simply that it’s bulky and slow, or that the artillery isn’t pivotal and therefore has a limited targeting range.
All in all, though, it’s a vehicle befitting its owner, and certainly a badass machine.
- Spoiler:
An interesting ability for a shade. Given that a Caligoans life is invariably linked to their companion spirit, one could say that a powerful healing factor is very advantageous when surviving the rigors of Caligo’s less savory terrain.
You seem to have interpreted the gaining of a shade ability differently than I did, but looking back at the Caligo history, I suppose they’re both valid methods. Fate’s description simply states that the shade takes an ability that most deeply reflects the inner nature of their human partner. She doesn’t state whether they do this by choice or if it’s forced upon them. Thus, while I don’t know which is correct, or if there’s even one particular correct way, the method of her obtaining the ability, through her own reasoning, seems entirely rational and valid to me.
- Spoiler:
I like that Allie has her own detailed biography. It really gives the impression that the shade is an entirely separate entity with her own thoughts, ideals, etc., which is excellent considering that should be the case. While their natures are in line, they are two separate individuals, and as such their reactions to things are different. While Imstad locked himself away in solitude after the fight with his brother, Allie wanted to be out among others. That she was the turning point that won the battle and saved Imstad’s life in the fight against his brother is also something that I feel is rather unique. Since a shade is generally seen as an extension of the character, I don’t think they would often become the singular factor which determined a defining moment of the character’s life. In your case, were it not for Allie – for her choosing the healing factor that would allow her to stay healthy and protect her master – Imstad would not have survived.
The fact that their relationship is still being mended also has a lot of potential for non-plot content. It could lead to some reactions from the shade that deviate from the norm. That type of relationship could be both amusing and dramatic at different times, and could definitely spice up the character a lot.
- Spoiler:
At this point, the character biography comes off as a rehashing of things we already know. Since a lot of the details were placed into the other sections of the character sheet, there isn’t any particularly new information. By reorganizing the details in other fields, I think you could make the Character Biography a more important section. All the same, this post is already way too long for being a review of a Caligo character profile.
While the organization of the character sheet was a bit poor, the character is pretty solid. There are some areas that could use refinement, such as the mentioned details about his weaponry, and I wouldn’t mind seeing some more entries in the Likes and Dislikes fields that are more about trivial preferences, but he certainly has a lot of RP potential.
Weiss- Poltergeist
- Join date : 2009-08-02
Posts : 798
Age : 38
Location : Delaware, United States
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