So the Summer movies are over....

[Squall Reyes]

So I thought this would be a good spot to share our feelings about this years batch of summer goodies (and not so goodies). What was your favorite movie this summer? Which one did you want to rip your eyes out over? Which ones helped you believe in the movies again? Which one was just a plain ol' good time at the movies?

I have to say this year as with any year was a mixed bag, you had movies that I wanted kill the director for, (I'm looking at you Wolverine, Transformers 2 and T:S) others that were enjoyable but in the end failed to live up to MY expectations, (Ex. Star Trek though it came damn close, Night at the Museum 2, Angels and Demons) and movies that left me with a renewed faith in film making and in some cases humanity. (See District 9, Up!, somewhat Inglorious Bastards.) It makes me excited to see whats coming next, such as a possible sequel of District 9, but at the same time I fear what's coming. (Is it possible to make a worse movie than Transformers 2? It IS Micheal fucking Bay were talking about here.) And a bit skeptical of the future of some studios and films.(Pixar wants to start coming out with 2 movies a year. Why mess with a formula that works Pixar....WHY?)

Without a doubt the break out roles/stars of this summer have to be director Neill Blomkamp (It was the mans FIRST FILM!) and star Sharlto "where the fuck did he come from" Copley. Peter Jackson of course gets much praise for finding the talents of these 2 men and makes me feel that if it has the name Peter Jackson associated with it in the next few years I will probably see it. Also Karl Urban and Simon Pegg playing Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy and Montgomery "Scotty" Scott respectively stole the Star Trek show and have probably cemented their careers for those roles for years to come. Pixar showed that you could tackle something as serious as death and old age and still come out with an amazing movie for both kids and adults.

All in all though certain movies made much more money than they truly deserve, (you know who they are) the few pictures that were both visionary and unflinching mark this as a year that was worth going to the movies for.

Next year what are you excited for? I know I'm looking forward to seeing Iron Man too, the scenes shown at Comic con has shown the movie has kept its fresh sense of humor, pressing story line and great acting that really could make a run at the Dark Knights record breaking run last year.

[Gadreille]

Well you already know my favorite one...District 9. Ditto everything you said about it. I could spew on and on, but I already did in the Human's Only thread so I suppose I don't need to reiterate it all here.

Out of the rest of the movies you mentioned, I only saw Star Trek and Wolverine. Star Trek was okay, but I'm not a Trekkie and so was a bit lost in some of it. Also, the beginning and I did not agree with one another (I'm a sissy when it comes to parents and children being parted for life) so I don't think I rated the movie fairly in my mind. I liked Wolverine, but not in a 'let's go see it again!' way. I think Wolverine only passed in my mind because I was busy drooling over a hot Aussie man...

I'm excited for a few movies, some this year, some next year.

"9" - I've never seen a Tim Burton film I didn't absolutely love...I suppose he is just dark and creative enough to spark the imagination of my slightly demented mind... 9 is going to be particularly good, in my eyes, because it mixes Tim Burton with one of mine and Silv's favorite themes - a post apocalyptic world. Only in this one, humanity has not survived...

"Where the Wild Things Are" - I'm interested to see what they do with this one. The preview really caught my eye. I hope to take my son to see it for his first birthday ^_^

"Zombieland" - Oh boy. This movie trailer had me hollering "YEA-YEAH!" in the movie theater, much to Silv's dismay. Zombie movies are my favorite scary movies, but I love a good zombie comedy any day!

"Avatar" - I can't wait to see what this is like. I read some of the inspirations that James Cameron had while making this film, and I'm interested to see what these inspirations manifested into.

"Alice in Wonderland" - Tim Burton. Alice in Wonderland. Demented nonsense. My kind of movie! Cheshire cat looks like my cat Qui...

"Avatar - The last Airbender" - I've followed M. Night. Shayamalan through his hits and his flops (more flops than hits...) but I've always loved his movies. The Village, Signs and Lady in the Water are my favorites of all his films. Though I'm not a huge Avatar fan, I plan on watching the series to prepare myself for the next M. Night movie!

[Squall Reyes]

Just gotten back from seeing the Bastards in theaters, that's right again. I make it a point to see exceptionally done movies as much as possible to show my great appreciation for the work they put forward. This was done for District 9 (3 times really), and Up! Though I have not seen Funny People twice but would like to tell you all it is a very well done movie. And please for the love of god go in there KNOWNING it's a drama-comedy and not just a comedy. Some frat boys were bitching in the theaters about it, before I let them know the entire point of the fucking movie. They left...thank god.

Also I've found my "Oscar cause" this year, because every year there is an amazing performance that comes from a movie you just don't expect. Though Sharlto had an amazing performance(from a first time actor) in District 9, without a doubt this years most unexpected and captivating performance was brought to us in Inglorious Bastards by way of Christoph Waltz who plays the villian nicknamed "The Jew Hunter". (I shit you not) Though Brad Pitt and Melanie Laurent turn in great work in the movie when Christoph is on screen he steals the show. You simply cannot help but feel that the man has brought us something special.
"9" - I Agree it looks great Tim Burton has always managed to pull of great pieces of film making from the most unlikeliest of places.

"Where the Wild Things Are" - Yes I read it as a kid, and yes I'm going to see it. The preview also came as a surprise to me as I was at first all doom and gloom about the movie being mad because Hollywood seems to have this habit of ruining my childhood memories.

"Avatar" - I'll be dead honest I've been kinda "meh" about this movie since I first heard about it. Maybe the lower expectations will help me see the error of my ways and get blown away by it. Maybe...

"Zombieland" - I'm looking forward more to World War Z really. I believe it will be Brad Pitts film companies first movie, so if they can make a film as good as he can act WWZ is gonna be mind blowing. But Zombieland will no doubt keep my zombie craving sedated for now. Woody Harrison + Zombies = Win

"Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time" + "Resident Evil: Afterlife" - God...help us.

"Brothers in Arms" - Denzel Washington + WW2 first all black tank battalion in Battle of the Bulge = Best Picture? Best Actor? Rumors swirl that the script is solid as a tank. Yes I mean that as a pun.

[Hello Danger]

As always Squally I agree with you.

Star Trek, D-9, and Inglorious Bastards were really good movies. I'd add Harry Potter to the list. I thought it was good and it didn't disappoint.

Poop = Wolverine, GI BLOW, and Transformers!

I'm looking forward to The Road. It looks promising.

Edits- Zombieland, looks so funny! Can't wait!

[Ominous Flare]

Well, since Singapore does not really have Summer (or any other seasons, for that matter), I am going to assume that Summer lasts through June to September. During this period of time, I have not really caught many movies at the theater (being too lazy to go out and all), but I guess I will round up my thoughts about some of them.

Star Trek (remake)
Before I move on, I would like to point out that I am not a Trekkie to start with. Though I heard a few things here and there about the franchise and saw a few clips of the recent Star Trek movies on cable, I bore little to no interest on the franchise, not to mention considering it a rather nerdy subject to be followed.

That was, till I saw the trailer of this remake, of course.

This movie has a pretty standard structure, considering it being the prequel of the 'first' Star Trek motion picture. I had actually entered the cinema a little later when the starship was already under attack at the beginning of the film, so I might have missed a couple of things. The overall movie experience for the next one and a half hour or more was quite enjoyable, surprisingly. It worked as a movie that would satisfy the non-Trekkies. The action was good, the drama emotional, and it was fun to watch Zachary Quinto (who I learned later to be playing Sylar in Heroes, which I never watched till then) playing Spock. I couldn't judge whether if he did a good job playing him (though I assume he did from the overall consensus of the Trekkies), but I'd say he put up a rather fine performance with the whole logic-obsessed character, despite the rather awkward overexposure of his logical perspective.

There were two reasons I watched this movie. The first one was mentioned above: the awesome, seemingly realistic trailer. The second was the director: J.J. Abrams.

I wouldn't go as far as calling Star Trek a rape to the original franchise, but I wouldn't go as far as calling it the greatest, most original masterpiece ever made by J.J. himself, either. J.J.'s done some good work with Cloverfield and Lost (of which the story development of the latter I believe he had involvement in), but the villain here in Star Trek, Captain Nero... well, he seemed a little underdeveloped. I just did not feel that I care that much for him. "Okay, so some jerks blew up your planet and did not want to help your sorry ass" was something along the lines of what I thought about him. To put it in two words, "rather cliche".

With that said, do I enjoy this movie? Definitely. It's cool, it's fast-paced, the effects are awesome, the music is great, and it was great to learn of the mythology after so many years of indifference. But like people, even Trekkies, have said, this could had been a hella' more of something.

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (known as Night at the Museum 2 in the UK and Singapore)
Erm... why is this here? I admit, I love the premise, I love the beginning of the film. It was like returning to your old friends. That score played in the background at the start? Epic. It brought me back to the mythology aspects of the first film. It was like traveling to a new world, exploring new places without the dangers of travel.

But it ends there.

After watching a few comedic scenes of Ben Stiller here and there, things start to get a little dull. I started to see the repeated formula this movie used. Sure, I got psyched up when I saw Kahmunrah and his army of soldiers standing frozen in front of the crate with their spears pointed at the protagonists of the film. The score played during that scene, I will point out, was excellently composed. It really made me feel the sinister nature and the threat of Kahmunrah, who was played by Hank Azaria, by the way.

Hank was great in many movies, and he's equally well in this one, taking up a spectacular total of three roles (he also plays The Thinker and the Abraham Lincoln statue).

It was also great to see recurring characters such as Jedediah Smith played by my favorite Owen Wilson, of course, and General Octavius was always fun to watch again. But, with all these little treats meshed up together, it still lacked character development and, more importantly, an original story. Not that the first movie had any strong characters to begin with, but at that time, my attention was turned to the novelty of seeing museum artifacts coming alive. This time, however, I am used to seeing such kind of thing, so my mind began to wander off to the characters' personalities. Seeing that they are the same ol' tired characters that they were in the first movie again, it naturally hurts my brain.

The story was pretty much the same 'save the world from the bad guys' plot, making the movie even more boring and cliche. However, when Kahmunrah opened that gate to the 'underworld' (just call it Hell, you pussies), okay, that was cool and unexpected. Normally, when some bad guy happens to try and open the gate to Hell, what happens? The good guys stop them, right? Well, this time, they did not do so and anthropomorphic bird-men start entering through the gateway. At that time, a surge of excitement went through my veins... till good ol' Lincoln came and screw it up. Ah, well, at least they did something different.

When the movie comes to a closure, however, the spirit of the movie was just like the artifacts of the Smithsonian Museum - dead without the power of the laughs and few admirable moments. The ending was stupid, and it left me feeling like I just watched a poorman's version of The Goonies. This is no box office material, it should had been a direct-to-video sequel.

Up (Yours)
Sorry, had to add that in after seeing Spill's review of this film. "What film?" "Why, Up..." "...yours."

In all seriousness, I had high expectations of this movie after realizing how great WALL-E really was, contrary to my condescension gained AFTER watching it. I had to rewatch the Andrew Stanton masterpiece again, a year or so later, to notice the originality and the revolutionary filmmaking used in the film. When Up finally premiered in Singapore exclusively on July 29 (I think, or it was 20-ish something), I was lucky enough to catch the premier. When I first learned of the premier, it was seemingly too late. All the seats of the theater the movie was screening in were taken up. My heart sunk so deep, it almost felt it went through beneath me, through the core of the Earth and popped out from the other side of the world.

Then, I found out that there was another premier, but of lesser respect to the film than the first premier. The first premier at Cathay Cineleisure Orchard had screenings of two films before Up was shown, namely Cars, then Ratatouille, both of which obviously being Pixar features. And, you get a special goodie bag with merchandises of each film that were screened. All I can say about the second premier was that it had balloon sculpting (it was just inking over some balloons) and face-painting. And a photo-shoot over a simple backdrop that featured the movie poster.

Fortunately, after buying tickets to that cheap-ass second premier, Cathay Cineleisure decided to have an extra screening of the premier by popular demand. [in Edna Mode's voice] It was like a gift from God. Obviously, you could tell that I am quite a crazed Pixar fan.

So, enough of the bullshit and let's cut to the chase. Into the first 5 minutes of the film, I had already felt like crying when Elie had a miscarriage. The waterworks began when she died. Truly, even now, I am still surprised by the level of darkness Pixar has achieved. It was not blatantly presented, but to throw out two deaths in a Pixar film like that, it is indeed revolutionary for animated films since, well, none of them had really handled death as well as Up, I could say.

I was a little disappointed (again) when the humor came in soon after that. Nevertheless, it was a children's film. It was not done in a cheesy manner, however. In fact, I had several good amount of pure laughter throughout the entire movie. However, I must get past the biasness and point out that the thing that really got me going was probably the sorrowfulness at the beginning of the film. From the point when Carl reached Paradise Falls, I had almost practically no concern about the movie at all... on the third and fourth viewing, that is.

Initially, I had planned to score a record of watching Up the most amount of time in the country, if not the world. I thought it wouldn't be as tiring as so many Pixar fans had described of my plan, but when I watched the movie a few more times later, I understood their perspective. It was fun the first few times, really. I even enjoyed Munz as a villain. But, to be nitpicky about it, I'd say that they didn't develop Munz's character well enough for me to hate him. To hate someone, you need to care about him, and for Munz, I don't give a shit about him and his immature quest of getting back at the people who insulted him. I mean, I am a mega-troll on YouTube, but after trolling people who insulted me for countless times, it felt tiring. Munz had the chance to go home anytime, yet his head was too thick for his heart to feel exhaustion from this revenge against trolls... Right.

I understand that being a kids film, they cannot focus on too many characters that might seem boring to kids, such as an old, grumpy man, for example. But, had they shown a few more scenes of Munz at the beginning of the film, I might actually feel something for him. Sure, the main focus then was on Carl's childhood, but that's all I'm saying, the solution to make me feel for Munz.

Next was the location; a tropical jungle. No matter what fancy names a jungle has, it is still a jungle. When you watch a movie repetitively, the humor gets to you for a while, but once you get past the jokes, you start to focus on other things, as mentioned above on my views for Night in the Museum 2. Here, however, there are two significant things for you to focus on: Carl and Russell. They aren't boring. As much as I'm tired of their jokes, the relationship developed in the quieter scenes were fairly tasteful. However, when those developments don't happen and they return to the jokes, repetitive viewing would very well make you yawn just a little bit. It's not entirely exhausting, but it does get a little dull.

The ending of the film was a bit confusing to me, the dumbfuck. I needed to read the graphic novel to understand what it meant for Russell and Carl. Embarrassing. After realizing the deeper meaning, I was truly glad I paid for all the tickets, be them 3-D or normal screenings, because in the end, it was all worth it. Adventure was indeed out there.

---

Alright, I've wrote just a little bit too long a post, so I'm going to stop here. The next few Summer films I will talk about will be Transformers 2 (ugh), Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, District 9, 9, and The Final Destination 3-D.

~ Flare

[Guest]

Tim Burton's 9 was a good movie.
It seemed to move a little fast for me, but I still loved it.
By fast, I mean it seemed like they rushed the plot and they could have done a LOT more with it. I mean, a LOT more...

As for what I'm looking forward to...

Where The Wild Things Are
Alice In Wonderland [because I'm a complete Junkie and I'm going to be a version of the Cheshire Cat for Halloween while my husband and son are Batman and Robin...or so we've planned.]
Ciruqe Du Freak -The Vampire's Assistant [Ive read the books -the first 3- and they aren't that bad...]

and thats about it for now...

OH!
I'm going to be dragged to see The Twilight Saga's New Moon when it comes out in November....D: D: D:
Save meh!

[Ominous Flare]

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (known simply as Transformers 2 in the UK and Singapore)

GOD. UGH. WHY WAS THIS SHIT MADE?!

Is there anything more to be said for this horrifying cinematic experience? Even as a brainless, CGI porn movie, it sucks. I mean, I am a huge CGI fan and I found myself bored. The action and CGI effects suddenly stopped midway in the movie for some stupid-ass dialogues that make no fucking sense. It's like marking a shoddy, late-minute late homework done by some lazy kid who's too busy playing video games the previous night. Even the laughs of this movie phailed! At least the first movie was funny!

THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE EVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!

Okay, at least it's better than the toilet-flushed Disaster Movie. *voices in the background whispered "Don't ever mention that name!"* But still, it's pretty bad. The movie is scattered everywhere, there is no focus throughout 60 to 70% of it at the middle of the plot, and worse of all, Bumblebee and those two defaced Ghetto Transformers were just following Sam and Mikaela around Egypt without saying another thing for at least a good half an hour! Sure, there are more robots thrown in this movie than the first one, but they only get like, what? 5 seconds screentime or some shit before they are either killed off or disappeared, flown off to Cybertron for all we know.

Then there's Jetfire, possibly the most insulting thing they could ever do to the Transformers franchise, making him an old, grumpy hillbilly carcass. Where the fuck is the tough, strong, powerful, confused Jetfire we know and love from the series? Even one is to argue that he is an old Autobot, so the fuck is Optimus Fucking Prime! Dammit.

And then there's the ending. Oh God, the ending. how predictable and cliche could they go? Sam awaking by having Mikaela saying that she loves him? When I heard that they were going to do darker than the first movie, I'm guessing that Sam dying is the 'dark shit' they were talking about, because I sure hell don't see any other dark themes throughout the movie. And they couldn't get any lamer than have Sam talking to some spirit or some shit like he's destined to save the world. What. The. Fuck. Is this fucking Digimon now? Oh man...

Then there's Optimus' death which they totally fucked it up, again.

1. I can't see shit. All I see is some metal parts flying around here and there.
2. I don't care shit. The Optimus in this movie has not given me any reason to care about him. His (assuming it has a gender) character development wasn't well planned enough, even after two fucking movies. All I see Optimus as in these two movies is some badass, flame-job punk who's pissed about the other party.

You know, if I don't know any better, I'd say Michael Bay has been watching some Digimon Adventure and Digimon Tamers as both seasons included some rather dark themes of Leomon dying, and the way Sam and Mikaela 'reflecting' on Optimus' death is deadly similar to the way the Chosen Children reflected on Leomon's.

I give this movie a shitty-ass 1 and a half stars, man. This movie doesn't even deserve a Rental.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

I am not a fan of the Harry Potter books. Naturally, I found this to be a little bit boring and somewhat cliche when compared to the predecessor, especially its ending with the three kids adolescents pondering on their future, looking out into a peaceful scenery like some conclusion to a talk show. I guess there are some subtexts which I missed here and there (only watched it once), but, being cynical about the whole franchise as I was about WALL-E, I doubt I would discover those hidden messages anytime soon, and probably wouldn't in the next movie, either.

However, I will watch the next two movies, as I've heard the final book was kick-ass awesome, not to mention that the movies so far have been quality at best. Okay, so Half-Blood Prince hasn't exactly been a total action ride, but that's okay. So I don't understand half (no puns intended) of what's going on in the movie (I don't think the Chinese subtitles really helped, either), but I could always save that for later. The effects are great, the magic is cool, and I definitely love the play around Ron and Hermione's relationship. They couldn't find a better actress to play Hermione, because Emma Watson is just totally hot. Well, in a cutesy teenager kind of way, mind you, not the Megan Fox way. I have a thing for nice girls next door.

However, did I feel anything when Dumbledore died? Well... as I written, I don't understand half of what's going on, so, naturally, I wouldn't understand what Dumbledore stands for, either. Sure, he talks to Harry a few times, advice him here and there, but I just don't really feel he cares much about him, or perhaps I'm missing something.

Regardless, this movie was better than Transformers 2 and I'm willing to give it a 4 stars and a deserving high-price Matinee rating. If you don't really like the books... well, you might enjoy the banter played around with Ron and Hermione.

District 9

D-9. Hm. Not bad, really. I mean, I am not much of a film lover but, this is more interesting than I would had expected. The character development is not bad, the suspense is good, the action is awesome (love the alien guns), and more importantly, it felt real.

Okay, maybe that voodoo Ghetto warlord, Obesandjo, was a little bit dramatic. I mean, c'mon, you've got a guy shooting some alien gun at your men and you're gonna tell me you're just gonna sit on your wheelchair and not even shudder a little bit? And smile? Either it's bad casting, or Obesandjo is really fucked up as a person. Must be those alien voodoo shit he's been eating.

I admit, I didn't expect an action film coming. Before I watched the movie, I had no idea what kind of genre the movie takes up (other than the obvious Sci-Fi). When I started watching it, I thought, 'Okay, so this guy is chosen to go over to D-9 and help out with some stuff, so maybe it's a drama flick.

Never have I been so glad to be surprisingly wrong about a movie.

You have a documentary style played along, you have a Ghetto-like location, you have some scenes that seem to have came out of The Office. Throw that in with a large spaceship and a gun that explodes a building, and you have this awesome kick-ass movie. I mean, seriously, with so many aspects meshed up into one movie, you'd think Neill Blomkamp would fucked it up, but no, he turned it into something that's revolutionary in cinema history.

Yet, many fucktards just don't appreciate it, calling it stupid, suckass, and other names of utter faggotry. Even I, who probably wouldn't enjoy The Curious Case of Benjamin Button anytime at all loves this movie.

And robots! We have fucking alien robots! How rad is that? Really hoping for a sequel. Really hoping to see a sequel. There's a lot of hidden subtexts in this film, I'd love to talk about the xenophobia and the government conspiracy idea... but I hate politics. it's boring. Unlike this film. I give it a straight 5 stars and a full price rating. This is definitely deserving of anyone's attention, no matter what your preferred genre is.

The Final Destination (known simply as Final Destination 4 in the UK and Singapore)

My personal guilty pleasure. I loved the Final Destination franchise. Yeah, people say it's stupid, but I don't know, the kills are quite creative (though utterly illogical), and surprisingly, up till now, I'm still not tired of this thing as they really kicked up a notch for me this time.

At first, I didn't expect much of the 3-D experience. I was just watching it for the kills and the gore. Little did I expect that I was right to watch it in 3-D because the experience is totally unlike any other. At the beginning of the film, you've already got stuff literally flying at your face and it's fucking realistic, not like some cheap-ass production of My Fucking Bloody Valentine in Cheap-Ass 3-D. Even near the ending, that explosion really blew me away. The tension was high and I really felt like I was there when the explosion occurred.

Then there comes the middle part. Like Transformers 2, the middle is rather boring. I mean, the kills are still entertaining (the first time), but there's not much 3-D to sell for. Even after that explosion bit when Nick realizes it's just another premonition, that 3-D effects weren't that impressive there at all. Unlike Transformers 2, however, we all expected the same formula, so it's nothing to be confused about. Heck, I had fun, the first time, of course.

I give this a 3 and a half star rating for its 3-D experience. Watch it at Matinee price. It's definitely a good flick to bring your girl to. But when it's out in DVD, watch it on the TV in edited version instead - you won't miss much.

9

I had a big expectation for this. I thought it was going to be one of the best animated films up to date. I had even thought it was directed by Tim Burton, not some smug named Shane Acker. To my surprise, not only did this movie sell out in about a few weeks' time, it sucked horribly to the point where Transformers 2 stands. Fortunately, it still has a reasonable, logical plot that makes sense and didn't make me squirm in my seat. But, it's cliche and predictable, the characters aren't interesting, and there's no character development at all, though I'm glad they decide to make 7 a female. She's kinda cute. I have a thing for tough girls as well. Tough girls, not lesbian tomboys... not that I have a problem with homosexuals. Ahem.

One of the biggest problem with this movie is that the plot is so closely related to that of the Terminator franchise, specifically Terminator: Salvation. Also, the whole 'I give my spirits to 9 sock puppets' twist kinda reminds me of a point-and-click adventure game rather than a feature film that belongs on the big screen. It's... kinda stupid, but it's interesting in a fantasy kinda way, but not realistic enough to be entertaining. Also, it's short. It's damn short, giving it more of a reason to be a flash game rather than a movie.

I'll give this 3 stars and a Rental rating. The effects are not all that overly amazing, either, when compared to Salvation.

~ Flare

[Squall Reyes]

Just came here to say great reviews man. A real eye for good movies, great rating and solid arguments for those rating. I got to say it was good fun to read what you had to say. (You damn homophobe. I kid of course.)

I'm going to the midnight showing of the film Surrogates (the movie based on an EXCELLENT graphic novel), And yes it's not summer anymore but god damn it it FEELS hot enough here for it to BE summer so I thought "fuck it I'll post the review on this thread."

So I saw Surrogates last night. Sadly all I have to say about the movie can be summed up in two words. Missed opportunity. That was the feeling of the movie from start to finish. I pains me that such a well written and thoughtful graphic novel was reduced to a standard and underwhelming action movie. That was truly the great crime of this film. The shimmers of brilliance that could be easily seen in several 5-10 minutes scenes, only to be blotted out by the other 60-70 minutes of action mush that you can get out of every action film.

The year 2017 is a future in which humans live in near-total isolation, never leaving the safety and comfort of their homes, and only communicating with their fellow man through remotely-controlled robotic bodies that serve as "surrogates," designed as better-looking versions of their human operators. Because people are safe all the time, and damage done to a surrogate is not even felt by its owner, it is a peaceful world free from fear, pain, and crime. Agent Greer (Willis) is an FBI agent who enlists the aid of his own surrogate to investigate the first murder in years. The withdrawn detective discovers that in order to actually catch the killer he will have to physically venture outside the safety of his home for the first time in many years, but in a world run by people hiding behind surrogates, people aren't always who they seem to be...

With a plot like his how could they POSSIBLY screw up the script? Hell you copy and paste the entire graphic novel and come out with an excellent movie. Including the brilliant ending that leaves you hating this world and how much stock we put into a persons attractiveness. But no, Hollywood in it's intolerable mission to butcher the source material in most of its movies decided to make this a regular action film. Bruce Willis does his best to save it, he really does. He puts down another solid performance, namely when the detective first ventures outside his home on how own in years.

In the end the movie is....well an decent action movie no more and no less. Better than Transformers and does not butcher the source material as much as Barakapool. But still another mediocre summer film for an overall mediocre summer. In a funny way this film has been much like this years summer movies, for every spark of brilliance (D-9 and Up!) there was much more dullness(Wolverine, Terminator:S) and all around shit (TRANSFORMERS!) to keep the shine from breaking through. This movie like this entire summer can only been described as a film that makes you ponder "what could have been"

After reading all this I have a feeling some of you might think I hated the movie. That's not the case though I am resentful for it being another uninspiring action film in a summer full of them this movie is much better than the others that have come along this summer(EXCEPT D-9) and I would recommend this movie for those who have nothing else better in their movies theaters.

[Gunneh]

It's coming, boys and girls. I'm going to review New Moon from the perspective of someone who nearly put the "Twilight Sucks" proboard as their home page.

I mean, I'll review it when I wake up. Midnight showings will screw with your internal clock just a bit >.>

[Guest]

I'm looking forward to a review about New Moon. I've never been interested in Twilight (I think I mentioned that before, but not sure). I heard, however, that when they showed the press release to the VIPs, that every girl in the theater went "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" at Taylor Lautner when he appeared in each of his shirtless scenes.

I also heard that the vampire chick that was fired didn't even show up at the press release. I'm kinda waiting to here a statement from her... if she gives one.

[Gunneh]

So here we go, boys and girls. To show that I'm not entirely biased against this franchise, I'll go ahead and write you all a review of what I personally thought about the newest movie in the Twilight Saga.

Now, I'll go ahead and say that I'm one of the first ones you'll hear bitching about the multitude of Twitards or Twihards, but I will say one thing: God bless Summit for hiring a new director for New Moon. I don't know if any of the rest of you saw Twilight when it came out, but....let's just say that Catherine Hardwicke isn't the best director that I've ever seen.

Oh, fuck it. She's a crazy hippie lady with the same delusions of grandeur that Stephanie Meyer had when she first decided to release the pre-teen softcore porn that she called Twilight upon the world.

I'll digress from that topic, though. The truth about New Moon, in my eyes, is that it is EXPONENTIALLY better than Twilight ever thought about being. Seriously, within the first five minutes of the movie I'd already laughed so hard that my chest hurt. Granted, I did that when I was dragged to see Twilight for that midnight showing as well, but the things I laughed at were actually SUPPOSED to be funny. I mean, come on! Who isn't going to laugh at a skinny Asian boy bawling over a black and white video of Romeo and Juliet?

Ok, so maybe you just have to see that part to understand.

Another good thing is that Robert Pattinson isn't present save for about 1/4 of the movie, which made me happy: The less I see of that prissy, limey, bouffant-haired cuntmunch, the better. Edward is the biggest fucking Gary Stu on the face of the Earth anyways. Smart, pretty, fast, strong...FUCK HIM. Perfect characters do not a good story make.

Still, the characters are gaining more depth, the script is becoming less and less like shit and there are more Werewolves around now! Everyone knows that Werewolves make everything better All in all...lessee....

7 O.F.F.S. Smileys Out of 10

P.S. Go Team Jacob! Yeah, I said it. Wanna fight about it?

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