Lifelines

[Ylanne Abdul Saleeb]

In my mind I hold on to the memories I refuse to let go; in my heart I hold on to you. The executioner has readied the needle. My time is almost done.

“Do you have any last words?”

I read from the page Katherine has typed for me, careful with each word, stumbling just a little with the English. There is so much I would say, but I do not know how to speak.

I close my eyes and imagine God.

“Have mercy on me, the vilest sinner. Have mercy, O God.”

Will there be mercy? Does God have mercy on murderers?

Drop by drop the poison drips into my body, joining the rest of my blood in a swirling mist. Is this how they felt, the ones I murdered? I said again and again I’m sorry, but how can I express that sorrow and shame which yet threatens catharsis?

Don’t leave me.

My deepest fear is that I will die alone, unloved, unwanted. Who would want me?

Don’t leave.

I want to say I love you, but how are these things said? And at such a time when there is no time left.

I feel tired. How much more time before I cannot think?

I keep my eyes closed. I do not see God.

I do not see you.

Don’t leave, please, don’t leave.

One second. It feels like millennia, this moment I always feared.

Don’t

[Ylanne Abdul Saleeb]

This piece is a first person telling of the execution of Tahira Ali, one of my characters; this scene appears in my unpublished novel Starless Sky (working title), which is written in third person limited omniscient. While I have written from Tahira Ali's point of view several times before, in short pieces and whatnot, I decided I would write this scene, and so I did. I hope you enjoy. Critiques are always welcome. You can read more about my writing, my characters, and my current projects at my writing website: http://sorrows.weebly.com You can also see drawings, cartoons, and digitally edited images I have created.