Hello everyone

[Koopa]

I love Literature, thus attaining why I registered here. My stories particularly involve deaths and Gothic. I am Australian, but I do have french aspects, which makes story-writing easier. Here is a small piece I proposed for the Footsteps of Ghosts:

The winter passed by slowly in the forest, and a gleaming mist covered a large expanse of ground. The young man went on by the forest until he finds incidentally what seemed to be an amulet of a kind. The amulet was perched among what was a small concrete bar.

Never nobody had seen an amulet as twas. It shone by the mist.

Among the concrete bar a small note was which read...

" This amulet contains a strong power,
Gods were immersed by it;
That they were banished to an unfortunate death "

[Kalon Ordona II]

Awesome username!!!

Welcome to the FOG, Koopa!

That piece makes me think you might enjoy our current Writing Contest.
Geh'ead, have a peek! ^^
>> Clicky <<

[Koopa]

Thank you! Your name is very creative indeed.

[Fate Flyer]

Hi, Koopa!

I agree -- I love your username. :] It reminds me of the moogles from Final Fantasy hehe.

That was a really intriguing introduction. I really look forward to reading more by you, and so I do hope that you enjoy yourself here. If you have any questions or need help with anything, the moderators and I are always around to be of assistance!

[Ragter the junior greeter]

Koopa, you are here trying to usurp me in the contest, aren't you? No, no, no, I've seen your kind before and it's not going to happen, not in ma house! NOT IN MA HOUSE.

..I'm not paranoid.

Welcome to FOG.

[Koopa]

I think I might have a chance. Haha.

[Kathryn Lacey]

Koopa... I don't know why, but my first thought when I read your name was Super Mario Brothers... Is there a Koopa or something similar in that game because I totally can't remember.

Your writing is interesting, I will admit. However, as FoG's resident Grammar Nazi, I would like to give you some advice... Stick to one tense. You seemed to have a past tense flow that was interrupted by this: "The young man went on by the forest until he finds incidentally what seemed..." To keep the proper flow, you should have used "found" instead of "finds."

I also want to let you know that this sentence made my brain bleed a little: "Never nobody had seen an amulet as twas." Double negatives are bad. I think you meant to have something more along the lines of, "Never had anyone seen an amulet such as this." Actually... that's what I would have written because it flows better and it makes more sense in my mind.

Those are just a couple hints of advice. Hopefully, instead of becoming angry, you will use my advice to better your own writing. I hope your professed love of literature will allow you to see that I am right. ((However, when I'm wrong and it's made apparent to me, I will admit that I'm wrong. No ego trips here! ^^_^^;; ))

I hope to see an entry of yours in the writing contest.

Welcome to FoG. ^^_^^

[ImmortalSin]

A fellow Aussie, finally!

Welcome to FOG, Koopa. I hope you enjoy your time here.

[Igraine]

Welcome to FOG, Koopa, it's wonderful to have you.

Normally I'm not a big fan of corrections in the very first thread, but yes, Kathryn has the rights of it there. I hope you find your time here at FOG is filled with chances to participate in a myriad of RPs, and a great opportunity to go deeper with your writing, technically and creatively.

[Ragter the junior greeter]

Hey, Kathryn, to answer the question for him, yes, there is a Koopa in the Mario games. It's the little turtle things that Mario tends to jump on a lot.

[Koopa]

Koopa... I don't know why, but my first thought when I read your name was Super Mario Brothers... Is there a Koopa or something similar in that game because I totally can't remember.

Your writing is interesting, I will admit. However, as FoG's resident Grammar Nazi, I would like to give you some advice... Stick to one tense. You seemed to have a past tense flow that was interrupted by this: "The young man went on by the forest until he finds incidentally what seemed..." To keep the proper flow, you should have used "found" instead of "finds."

I also want to let you know that this sentence made my brain bleed a little: "Never nobody had seen an amulet as twas." Double negatives are bad. I think you meant to have something more along the lines of, "Never had anyone seen an amulet such as this." Actually... that's what I would have written because it flows better and it makes more sense in my mind.

Those are just a couple hints of advice. Hopefully, instead of becoming angry, you will use my advice to better your own writing. I hope your professed love of literature will allow you to see that I am right. ((However, when I'm wrong and it's made apparent to me, I will admit that I'm wrong. No ego trips here! ^^_^^;; ))

I hope to see an entry of yours in the writing contest.

Welcome to FoG. ^^_^^

As you can see, I can make common errors when it comes to tense, and normally I pick that up when I'm finished. However, with all due respect, I will not participate in the ongoing contest. Furthermore, I will not be particularly active.

[Kathryn Lacey]

Thank you, Ragter, for letting me know. I feel better now that I know the answer to my question.

Koopa, I didn't expect you to take it so hard. In all honesty, I think you have a lot of potential as a writer, and I was just trying to help you grammatically. That's no reason to feel that this couldn't be a great place to have fun and write and possibly improve. I mean, I know I'm not the best there is or anything, and I know that writing here is one way for me to improve myself. Forgive me for falsely assuming that just because I want people to help me improve that others would want the same thing from me.

[Kalon Ordona II]

Koopa is also the Japanese name for Bowser, if I'm not mistaken.

Thank you! Your name is very creative indeed.

Why thank you. ^^ That's because it's unique (as far as I know), at least as a username. xD There's a lot of history and fanaticism in it.

I hope we'll see you around, at least from time to time.

[Koopa]

Thank you, Ragtor, for letting me know. I feel better now that I know the answer to my question.

Koopa, I didn't expect you to take it so hard. In all honesty, I think you have a lot of potential as a writer, and I was just trying to help you grammatically. That's no reason to feel that this couldn't be a great place to have fun and write and possibly improve. I mean, I know I'm not the best there is or anything, and I know that writing here is one way for me to improve myself. Forgive me for falsely assuming that just because I want people to help me improve that others would want the same thing from me.

No no, I'm not taking it hard. Just a matter of decisions.

[Kathryn Lacey]

Good. Well, I hope in the future, you decide to be more active and join a writing contest or two. ^^_^^

[Ragter the junior greeter]

You....

You...

you spelled ma name wrong

[Kathryn Lacey]

There. I fixed it. I don't know why, but I keep misspelling your name with an 'o,' Ragter. I guess it's probably because that's how your name reads in my head because I like the sound better, but I'll try harder to spell your name properly because I don't like when people misspell my name, either.

[Dio the Awesome]

Bowser, "Of course green koopas walk off cliffs. RED koopas are the ones that turn around!"

---

That's all I could think of when I saw you name.

Umm... This intro sucks. I got nothing. In exchange, have a few Dio cupon, redeemable at your local Dio. It contains one short story.


///////////////////////////////
///...Official Diodri...///
///...Coupon of.......///
///...Awesome.......///
//////////////////////////////

Welcome to the boards.


EDIT: May as well post the video I referenced.

[Ragter the junior greeter]

...

Dude, you never gave ME that coupon.

[Sponsored content]